Worse Place Comic Strips - Page 21

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209 Results for Worse Place

View 201 - 209 results for worse place comic strips. Discover the best "Worse Place" comics from Dilbert.com.

Make It Hard To Uninstall

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Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #customer service, #business strategy, #sales, #deception, #business

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Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #military, #office workers, #survival, #hero

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Boss: This is our new employee, Mark. Mark was a navy SEAL. He fought in three separate conflicts. He once fought off a hundred insurgents and saved a town. Show Mark how we roll at this company. Dilbert: Today I'll be reformatting my PowerPoint deck because someone said the design is not organic. Mark: What's that mean? Dilbert: It doesn't matter. I'll just push some things around and hope the guy who complained doesn't attend the next meeting. Mark: How do you survive this place? Dilbert: I don't like to use the word "hero."

Moth Man Keeps Popping In

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Moth Man Keeps Popping In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #talking, #frustration, #workload, #annoyance

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Dilbert: I can't get any work done because the storytelling mothman keeps popping in to my cubicle uninvited. Why did you hire a storytelling mothman in the first place? Was it not obvious this would happen? Boss: Everyone's a genius in hindsight.

Employees Who Don't Want Money

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Employees Who Don't Want Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2018's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #money, #optimism, #ambition

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Boss: I don't want employees who are motivated by money. I want true believers who are trying to make the world a better place. Wally: Those people sound crazy. Dilbert: Can you warn us if you see one?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2018's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #assumption, #arguing, #logic, #argument

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Man: You said the software would be finished by today. Dilbert: I said it might be finished by today. Man: Why did you say it might be finished if you knew it wouldn't? Dilbert: I didn't know it wouldn't be finished. Man: Now you're flip-flopping all over the place. Dilbert: You're conflating your own false memories with my actions. Man: That's exactly what liars say. Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Totally normal. Unfortunately.

Best Places To Work

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Best Places To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #employees, #employment, #irony, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #office

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Boss: We're trying to get on "best places to work" list. If you agree to lie on the survey, maybe we can attract some good employees to make this a best place to work. Dilbert: What? Boss: Keep your eye on the prize.

Dogbert Starts A Podcast

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Dogbert Starts A Podcast - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #podcast

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dogbert: i decided to start my own podcast. dogbert: i'm crafting my content to appeal to dumb people because that's the biggest market. dilbert: how will that make the world a better place? dogbert: based on your question, you'd enjoy my podcast.

Beg And Pay Store

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Beg And Pay Store - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #buying, #selling, #begging, #internet

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dogbert: i'm opening a beg-and-pay store. dilbert: what will you be selling? dogbert: selling? dogbert: you are way behind the times. dogbert: stores don't sell things anymore. dogbert: selling would require good customer service and lots of stock on hand. dogbert: if you want that sort of thing, use the internet. dogbert: i just want a place where people can go and beg me to sell them stuff that isn't in stock. office worker: can you help me find this hat in my size? dogbert: beg!!!

Wally Uses Speakerphonetif

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Wally Uses Speakerphonetif - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #office, #office workers, #speaker phone, #voice-texting, #click

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the boss: i asked you to stop using your speaker-phone because it was disturbing your co-workers. the boss: now they tell me you started doing voice-texting, which is even worse. wally: okay fine. later that day. alice visually upset and yelling: turn off your keyboard click sound! wally's cell phone: click click click.