40 Years Comic Strips - Page 22

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View 211 - 220 results for 40 years comic strips. Discover the best "40 Years" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #highlight, #staff meeting, #wally report, #hair styled, #usual, #hair stylist, #used nose trimmer, #seemed right, #salon brawl

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Wally addresses a meeting, "Now for the highlight of the staff meeting: The Wally Report." Wally continues, "Yesterday I was getting my hair styled as usual." Wally continues, "But this time I forgot to remove my glasses, and what I saw was disturbing." Wally continues, "The stylist was using a nose-hair trimmer to cut my hair!" Wally continues, "I protested. But she said she's been doing my hair that way for years." Wally continues, "She said it just, 'seemed right.'" Wally raises his arms and exclaims, "Tempers flared. I threw some hair gel. A salon brawl broke out!" The Boss asks, "Don't we use the same stylist?" Wally replies, "That would explain why she has a plunger."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2001's comic on:


Tags #teamwork football, #carry one day, #commitment to teamwork, #customers, #vacation, #used golf ball, #football, #Sports

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The Boss holds up a football and says, "I call it teamwork football." The Boss continues, "Each of you will carry the ball with you for one day to symbolize your commitment to teamwork." Dilbert, Wally, and Alice listen as The Boss' voice continues, "Who wants to be first?" The Boss turns to Dilbert. Dilbert says, "Not me, I have a meeting with customers today." The Boss turns to Wally. Wally says, "I'm on vacation. I only came in for coffee." The Boss turns to Alice. Alice says, "Not in a trillion years." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Maybe you could keep it in your desk drawer to symbolize our commitment to teamwork." The Boss is sitting at his desk. He looks at the football sticking out of his desk drawer and thinks, "I should have used a golf ball."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2013's comic on:


Tags #telecommunication lines, #work ethic, #telecommuting, #policy, #assignments, #disappointed

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Boss: And you are...? Coworker: I've worked for you for years. I was telecommuting, but now our company policy forbids it, so here I am. Boss: Did I give you any assignments in those four years? Coworker: No, and you can imagine how disappointed I am now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2013's comic on:


Tags #elevators, #ignorance (knowledge), #overqualified, #incompetent, #phd, #easily stumped

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Boss: I hired an overqualified yet incompetent guy to help on your project. Coworker: I was happily incompetent for years. Then I got my PhD and people started thinking I could do things. Okay, I'm stumped.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #exercise & fitness, #beating the system, #exercising, #cubicle, #soul crushing work, #walker

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Dilbert: I'm beating the system by exercising in my cubicle. If I stay in good health during my forty years of soul-crushing work, I might enjoy a year or two of good health when I retire. Wally: This is why I don't have goals. Dilbert: I'm going to use my walker on your grave!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2013's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #time estimate, #propsal, #win bid, #wet sponge, #insulted me, #business

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Boss: I adjusted your time estimate on the proposal from two years to one so we could win the bid. I plan to make up the time by squeezing you like a wet sponge that insulted me. Then the wet sponge insulted me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cancel service, #deception, #dogcart document, #garbage trucks, #service business, #storage

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Boss: We've been using The Dogbert Offsite Document Storage Service for five years, and frankly, I'm concerned. Your service trucks look suspiciously like garbage trucks. I would cancel your service if I could find the contract. Dogbert: It's in "storage."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #computer programmers, #international economic integration, #unemployed, #immortal, #preventer of information, #services, #outsiurced, #buzzkill

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Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services, and I am immortal! Dilbert: Actually, in a few years your function will be either distributed across existing organizations or outsourced. Mordac: Well, that was a total buzzkill.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #inventions, #joking, #meat bags, #robot, #capability, #humor, #learn humor

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Robot: Hey, meat-bags! I'm here to take your jobs! Ha ha! Not really. I won't have that capability for two or three years. Dilbert: When did you learn humor? Robot: Humor? I was going for cruelty.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2013's comic on:


Tags #charitable organizations, #competition (psychology), #raise money, #shave head, #bald man

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Boss: If we raise $40,000 for charity, I will shave my head! Wally: And if we raise no money at all, I will shave my head. Boss: That's messed up. Wally: Is it?