Medical School Comic Strips - Page 22

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

240 Results for Medical School

View 211 - 220 results for medical school comic strips. Discover the best "Medical School" comics from Dilbert.com.

The Virus Afterlife

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Virus Afterlife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul, #conscience, #morality, #morals, #sentience, #life, #death, #existence, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I couldn't find any evidence that I have a soul, so I built an artificial one and put it in a drone. When my physical body dies, the drone will upload my memories and personality to the cloud to live forever. Woman: Your soul will be trapped in a server? Dilbert: No, I wrapped it in a virus so I can travel.

Don't Harm The Artificial Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Don't Harm The Artificial Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul, #drone, #artificial intelligence, #frustration, #death, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Pay no attention to the drone. That's where I keep my artificial soul. It's still in beta, so please don't say anything that might harm it. Boss: Let's go around the room and give our project updates. Drone: Pow!

Employee Weight Loss Contest

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employee Weight Loss Contest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obesity, #health, #weight loss, #weight, #dieting, #cheating, #competition, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Next month is employee health awareness month, so we decided to have a weight-loss competition. We'll start on the first of the month, and the winner gets a week of paid vacation. Wally: When he thinks back on this, he'll realize he shouldn't have given us three weeks to bulk up before the first weigh-in.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #excuse, #illness

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have a note from my doctor. It says I'm too sensitive to handle criticism. I don't understand all the medical details. It has something to do with the mind-body connection. One minor criticism from you and my lungs will collapse. If that happens, you'll need to pinch my nose, create a seal with your mouth, and reinflate them. Boss: This doctor's note looks like your handwriting. Wally: Ow! My lung!

Brain Fragments

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brain Fragments - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bored, #boredom, #health, #mundane

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need to take an extended medical leave to recover from a boredom-related injury at work. You gave ma a task so boring that my brain tried to escape through my lower gastrointestinal tract. Boss: I'm sure it wasn't that bad. Dilbert: I found brain fragments in my pants.

Volunteers For Mars Trip

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Volunteers For Mars Trip - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #space, #astronaut, #engineering, #karma, #death, #design, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need volunteers to go to Mars in the spaceship we're building. Dilbert: Ask Ted. He's dispensable because he's a terrible engineer. Boss: Ted designed the spaceship. Dilbert: Karma will sort that all out.

Naming The Spaceship

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Naming The Spaceship - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #naming, #space, #space flight, #rocket, #engineering, #failure, #death, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I'm looking for a name for the spaceship that I designed. Dilbert: How about "Death Tube?" Alice: "Space Debris?" Wally: "Final Resting Place?" Ted: I was hoping for something more positive. Voice: We're positive it will explode.

Picking The Spaceship Staff

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Picking The Spaceship Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #space, #space flight, #rocket, #death, #sacrifice, #astronaut, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How's the Mars spaceship project going? Boss: Good. I picked our worst employees to be on the first test flight, just in case it explodes. CEO: Good thinking. Boss: We have two ways to win and no way to lose.

Spreading Ted's Ashes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Spreading Ted's Ashes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #ashes, #cremation, #death, #spreading, #toilet, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Ted's widow asked us to spread his ashes around the office because he loved his job. Wally: I'll do it. Alice: You didn't like Ted. Wally: Was that a requirement? Alice: Don't let anyone see you flush it.

Robotic Hair Transplant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robotic Hair Transplant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #conversation, #hair, #surgery, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Never go to a robotic hair transplant center on the same day they upgrade the software. Is that the surgery where they take hair from the back of your head and fill in the bald spot? That's how the old software worked. The new one didn't respect boundaries.