Sarcasm Comic Strips - Page 22

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270 Results for Sarcasm

View 211 - 220 results for sarcasm comic strips. Discover the best "Sarcasm" comics from Dilbert.com.

Can't Tell When He Is Joking

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Can't Tell When He Is Joking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, joking, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, employment, moon lighting, work, video conference

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dilbert, boss and asok in front of laptop on video conference call. voice from laptop: excuse me. i have to take a call from one of the other employers who also believes i work for them full time from home. boss to dilbert: i can't tell when he's joking. dilbert: that's probably for the best.

Important Context

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Important Context - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, communication, office, office workers, sarcasm, question, answer, context, rude, interrupt

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alice: why are you looking at your phone while i'm answering your question? dilbert: because our answer has nothing to do with my question, but i didn't want to be rude and interrupt you. alice: i'm giving important context. dilbert: text me when that part is done.

Keyboard Upgrades

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Keyboard Upgrades  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, keyboard, design, keys, better, hard, software, upgrades

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dilbert: i have an idea for a keyboard design that we upgrade every six months by rearranging where the keys are. boss: why would we do that? dilbert: to make it better. boss: that would only make it harder to use. dilbert: exactly like our software upgrades. what's your point?

Understanding Science

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Understanding Science - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, science, scientsts, chipmunk, sarcasm

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tina: i listen to actual scientists, and they say your idea will never work. dilbert: if a chipmunk listens to scientists, should i trust the chipmunk to understand what he heard? tina: i don't get your point. dilbert: and yet you do understand science?

Vaccine

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Vaccine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, covid-19, sarcasm, vaccine, pharma, company, target, safety, efficacy

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boss: i'm happy to announce that our company has produced a vaccine for covid-19. dilbert: how did we do that? we're not even a pharma company. boss: i'm not going to lie. we had to cut some corners to get it done. dilbert: such as... boss: well, for example... we couldn't meet every single target we hoped to achieve. dilbert: how many targets did we miss? boss: only two things. dilbert: safety and efficacy? boss: okay, four things.

Bad Qualities Cancel Out

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Bad Qualities Cancel Out - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, qualities, character, cancel, micro-manage, lazy, backstabbing, brave, lie, credibility, believe, employees, success, manager, random, sarcasm

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boss: all of my bad qualities see to be canceling each other out. for example, i want to micro-manage my staff, bi=ut i'm too lazy. and i want to do some corporate backstabbing, but i'm not that brave. i enjoy lying, and i'd like to do more of it, but my credibility is so low that no one believes me. i want to mock my employees for their mistakes, but i don't understand enough about what they do to know when they are doing it wrong. i want to take credit for the successes of my employees, but i don't give them enough support to succeed. carol: our set just called. he says he is naming you the manager of the year. boss: he must be deeply uninformed. carol: yes, but he's also lazy, so he pocked you randomly.

Dogbert Is Doctor Of Impossible

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Dogbert Is Doctor Of Impossible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boring, business, cure, diseases, doctor, fail, headache, ice-cold bath, impossible, improvement, medical, prescribe, sarcasm, treatments, health and wellnes

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dogbert: i'm dogbert, doctor of the impossible. boss: does that mean you cure diseases that are believed to be impossible to cure? dogbert: no, that sounds boring. i prescribe treatments that are impossible to follow. when you fail you don't get better. you'll think it's your own fault. boss: how does that help anyone but you? dogbert: hey, i'm not the one who brought it up. boss: you're giving me a headache. dogbert: to cure that, i suggest ice-cold baths every six minutes.

Captcha

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Captcha  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, application, app, robot, ability, evidence, explaination, moron, sense

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boss: gaaa! why can't i ever type the captcha letters correctly to get into this app? dilbert: your inability to prove you are not a robot is strong evidence that you are, in fact, a robot. boss: yes, that makes sense. dilbert: the other explanation is that you are a moron, and you know that isn't true, so...

Boss Traveling Through Hot Spots

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Boss Traveling Through Hot Spots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags airlines, business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, booking, flight, airline, coronavirus, die, Promotion, greedy, demise, reward

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boss: it seems you are booking all of my connecting flights in coronavirus hot spots. you do realize that if i die, you don't get promoted to my job, right? carol: i'm not greedy. your demise would be reward enough.

Still Get Paid

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Still Get Paid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, colleagues, unreliable, false, true, paid, process, believe, sarcasm

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tina: i've been keeping a running list, and it seems that 100% of the things you told me this year have been false. wally: and we both got paid, so what's your point? tina: i...don't know how to process that. wally: i'd tell you, but apparently you wouldn't believe me.