2003 Comic Strips - Page 22
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Character
Monday September 08,
2003
Tags send broadband, send data, sewer system
Transcript
The Boss: Our competitors found a way to send broadband internet traffic over the power grid. I want you to find a way to send data via the sewer system. Wally: I thought I was already doing it.
Tuesday September 09,
2003
Tags internet traffic, good thing, under sewage, breathe through straw, grateful, sewer system
Transcript
Wally: "Asok, would you like to join a doomed project for sending internet traffic over the sewer system?" Asok: "Absolutely! I might be young and inexperienced, but I know a good thing when I see it!" Wally: "I need you to work under the sewage and breathe through a straw." Asok: "I get a straw?!!"
Wednesday September 10,
2003
Tags project manager, direct natural talent, energy, common goal, agenda, copies of agenda, health
Transcript
wally: "I've never been a project manager before." "I understand I'm supposed to direct your natural talents and energies toward a common goal." Wally: "Carol, did you make copies of the agenda?" Carol: "No, it sounded hard."
Thursday September 11,
2003
Tags created time line, identified resources, revise timeline, re examine, thousand ways, haven't done anything
Transcript
Wally: "In only one week my project team has created a time line and identified the resources we need." "Next week, we plan to revise the time line and re-examine our resource needs." "Good work." "There must be a thousand ways to say I haven't done anything." "Wait.."
Friday September 12,
2003
Tags slither away, doomed project, assistant, teach you, manager skin, speaking metaphor
Transcript
Dogbert: "You need to slither away from your doomed project before you get blamed." Dogbert: "My assistant will teach you how to shed your project manager skin." Snake: "Yello!" Skeleton: "Ow! Ow! Ow! How's this so far?" Snake: "Impressive, but we were speaking metaphorically."
Saturday September 13,
2003
Tags heart and sould, high speed data, talent pool, in charge, mentor, panicking
Transcript
Wally: I've put my heart and soul into the high-speed-data-by-sewer project. But I believe in developing outr talent pool, SO I recommend putting Asok in charge if the project, I will be his mentor, AsoK; wow! what should I do first? Wally: I wouldn't rule out panicking.
Monday September 15,
2003
Tags project manager, returned calls, emails, mentally superior, finished porject, sleep national holidays
Transcript
Asok: "Since I became project manager, no one has returned my calls or responded to my e-mails." Asok: "Luckily, I'm an I.I.T. graduate, mentally superior to most people on Earth, so I finished the project myself." Wally: "Are you tired?" Asok: "I am trained to only sleep during national holidays."
Tuesday September 16,
2003
Tags india institute of technology, huge brain, mental superiority, re heat tea, forehead, fire
Transcript
Asok: "At the India Institute of Technology, I learned to use my huge brain." "But I try not to frighten ordinary people with any gratuitous displays of mental superiority." "For example, I no longer reheat my tea by holding it to my forehead and imagining fire."
Wednesday September 17,
2003
Tags audio lessons, hundred million, showing up, performing ceo, be the person, buy audio lessons
Transcript
Dogbert: Would you like to make a hundred million dollars for just showing up at work? Dogbert: My audio lessons teach you how to become an underperforming CEO. $19.95 Step One: become A CEO> Step Two: Be the sort who would buy these audio lessons.
Thursday September 18,
2003
Tags actual question, delivery, fantasize, imaginary one, plastic casing, ripping moustache, two week
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you order the plastic casings I need? They take two weeks for delivery. DIlbert: I see that you've cleverly avoided my actual question in favor of an imaginary one involving delivery times. Now Im fantasizing about ripping off your mustache and using it to shine your head. I hear that a lot.


