2017 Comic Strips - Page 22
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Character
Tuesday July 25,
2017
Wally's Excuses List
Tags meeting, work ethic, laziness, excuses, avoidance, business
Transcript
Wally: Work got a lot easier after I compiled a list of all my best work-avoidance excuses. Man: Wally, can you attend my project meeting? Wally: Well, let me check. Man: I haven't told you when we're meeting. Wally: That matters less than you think it should.
Wednesday July 26,
2017
No Calendar Needed
Tags work ethic, laziness, calendar, excuse, avoidance
Transcript
Man: Do you have time to check my design? Wally: Let me see. Nope. Man: Did you just check your calendar? Wally: With my system, I don't need a calendar.
Thursday July 27,
2017
Wally Secret Project
Friday July 28,
2017
Wally's Project Is Not Confirmed
Tags memory, obliviousness, managers, executives, hubris
Transcript
Boss: Wally says he has a secret project he can't tell me about. Did you give him that project? CEO: I don't remember every little thing I've ever done. Boss: My best strategy here is to think about other things.
Saturday July 29,
2017
Swear On The Lives Of Your Coworkers
Tags lying, swearing, exaggeration, deception, accomplishment
Transcript
Wally: I achieved all of my milestones on my secret project this month. Boss: How do I know any of that is true? Wally: I swear on the lives of my coworkers. Boss: I'm getting a mixed message here.
Monday July 31,
2017
Scientists Confirm We Are Simulations
Tags reality, simulation, aliens, alternate universe, perception
Transcript
News: Scientists confirmed that our reality is actually a software simulation created by an advanced civilization. Dilbert: That makes no sense unless the advanced civilization is a bunch of psychopaths who like to see us suffer. Catbert1: One of the idiots in our simulation is insulting us. Catbert2: I'm going to break his phone screen.
Tuesday August 01,
2017
No Dumb Questions
Tags question, answer, binary, coding, technology
Transcript
Boss: I have a dumb question. Dilbert: There are no dumb questions. Boss: When you delete software, where do all the zeroes and ones go? Dilbert: I stand corrected.
Wednesday August 02,
2017
Nothing Dilbert Does Matters
Tags motivation, accomplishment, meaning, meaningless
Transcript
Dilbert: I completed my assignment, and yet I feel no sense of accomplishment. Could it be because nothing I do makes any difference in the world? Boss: I was going to tell you that, but I didn't want to demotivate you.
Thursday August 03,
2017
Dilbert Does Nothing Useful
Tags work ethic, meaning, meaningless, motivation, laziness
Transcript
Dilbert: All I did today was create a bunch of PowerPoint slides that no one will understand. But I got paid the same as if I had done something useful. Is this the first stage of becoming you? Wally: If you're lucky.
Friday August 04,
2017
Dogbert Is A Good Listener
Tags listening, ignoring, earbuds, headphones
Transcript
Dilbert: Thanks for listening to me vent about my job. You weren't always a good listener, but apparently you matured. Dogbert: The quality of my life has improved a lot since I got wireless earbuds.

