Business Failures/Bankruptcies Comic Strips - Page 22

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Business Failures/Bankruptcies

View 211 - 220 results for business failures/bankruptcies comic strips. Discover the best "Business Failures/Bankruptcies" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, technical questions, ventriloquism, ip router, suppository configuration, boss move lips, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, to Alice, "Alice, I need you to attend a metting with me to handle the technical questions." The boss says, "If the ask me a question, I'll move my lips while you do ventriloquism." The boss is in a meeting. He pretends to speak. Alice says, from behinds a book, "....and that's why your I.P. router in a suppository configuration."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wally report, hair grow long, ponytail, artistic side, collect coffee mugs, meeting, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, Dilbert and the boss sit in a meeting. Wally's hair shoots up on either side of his bald spot. Wally says, "In this week's "Wally Report, " I've decided to let my hair grow long in the back." Wally says, "Eventually, I'll put it in a ponytail to show I have an artistic side." The boss says, "What's your artitstic side?" Wally says, "I collect coffee mugs."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags venture capitalists, web based, business, engineer, cool ponytail, good enough, money, suitcase full, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally stands in front of his cubicle with his hair in a ponytail. Two men in suits walk up to him. The dark haired man says, "Wally we're venture capitalists. We want to invest in your web-based business." Wally says, "I don't own a web-based business. I'm just an engineer with a cool ponytail." Man 1 says, "That's good enough for us." He offers a briefcase full of money. Man 2, who holds a fistfull of cash, says, "We like to get in early."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags venture capitalists, web based business, lazy, dishonest, create, accounting irregularities, energy, health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally walks into Dilbert's cubicle holding a huge bag of money. Wally has long hair pulled back into a ponytail. Wally says, "Venture capitalists gave me money to start a web-based business." Dilbert says, "Do they know that you're lazy and dishonest?" Wally says, "It didn't come up." Dilbert says, "What'll you create... besides accounting irregularities?" Wally says, "That's all I have the energy for."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sold internet business, married, pre nuptual, agreement, honey moon, read prenup

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, still with his ponytail, walks up to Dilbert and Alice who eat lunch. Wally has a woman (bimbo) on his arm. Wally says, "I sold me internet business and married Roxie." Wally says, "Don't worry about my money. Roxie insisted that we sign prenuptial agreements." Wally says, "Now for our honeymoon." Roxie says, "Whoa! That's not in our agreement." Alice says, "He didn't read it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags information technolofy, define, materials, enthusiasm with stupidity, meeting, presentation, long, lengthy, boring, business

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says, "I'd like to spend the first hour defining what "information technology" means." Asok raises his hand and says, "Ooh! Ooh! Can I help pass ou the materials?" Dilbert and Wally both look at Asok. Wally says, "It's not a good idea to mix enthusiasm with stupidty, Asok." Asok says, "Oh, sorry."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags answer phone, trick question, meeting, better get this, phone rings, ignores boss call, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss comes up behind Wally who sits at his desk. The boss says, "Wally, I've been calling you for two hours! Why don't you answer your phone?" Wally says, "Is that a trick question?" The boss says, "Wally, unless your in a meeting.." The phone rings. Wally says, "Hold on. I'd better get this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags old binders, landfill, fedex, marketing, look expose reports, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok stands with a box behind Wally who sits at his computer. Asok says, "Wally, what is the quickest way to send this old binders to the landfill?" Wally says, "I usually use "Fedex". Charge it to marketing; they never look at their expense reports" Asok walks away and thinks, "here's one more thing I can never tell anyone about my job."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags completes portion, project, well engineered, squadron, idiots, ruin, marketing, napping, use ears, coasters, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert types at his computer and thinks, "This completes my portion of the project." Dilbert thinks, "This project is so well-engineered it would take a squadron of idiots to ruin it." Caption: "Meanwhile in Marketing" A stupid looking man dressed very sloppily says, "And when I'm napping, it is NOT okay to use my ears as coasters."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Wally, meeting, does nothing, angrily identify problems, not job, ambiguous, taking forever, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, and others are in a meeting. Wally raises his hand and says, "Someone should take care of that problem!" Dilbert turns to Wally and says, "YOU should take care of it." Wally replies, "I can't do everything." Alice says, "You don't do anything." Asok adds, "Not a single thing." Wally says, "It's my job to angrily identify problems." The Boss, with his head in his hands, interjects, "Wally..." The Boss continues, "This is NOT your job!" Wally asks, "What?" Wally is up in arms as he says to the Boss, "Everything is so ambiguous here! Someone should take care of that problem!" Turning to Dilbert, Wally adds, "Is it just me, or is this meeting taking forever?"