Collaboration Software Comic Strips - Page 22

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289 Results for Collaboration Software

View 211 - 220 results for collaboration software comic strips. Discover the best "Collaboration Software" comics from Dilbert.com.

Software Done Next Week

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Software Done Next Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #excuse, #laziness, #work ethic

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Boss: Are you any farther along with the software? Wally: I discovered an unexpected problem. That set me back a week. Boss: You say the same thing every week. Wally: No one jumps off a winning horse.

Almost Done With Software

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Almost Done With Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #procrastination, #work ethic, #excuse, #laziness

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Boss: Is the software almost done? Wally: Yes, almost. Not the final release-- more like a beta MVP. Maybe more of an alpha. Boss: Have you even started? Wally: The mental stuff is almost done.

Unexpected Things Happen

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Unexpected Things Happen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #project, #schedule, #excuse

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CEO: What's the latest on the software release date? Wally: We're right on time for the pre-alpha launch, unless we run into something unexpected. CEO: How often does that happen? Wally: Whenever I need it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse, #paradox, #logic

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Boss: How's the software coming along? Wally: We're in the Zeno's paradox phase of the project. Boss: The what? Wally: It means every step we take gets us halfway closer to launch. Boss: Can you keep up that pace? Wally: I'm hoping it will look that way. Boss: Is Zeno's paradox a real thing? Dilbert: You'll find out. Narrator: Next Week. Boss: How's your project? Wally: Halfway closer than last week.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #insult, #offense, #engineer, #programmer, #coding, #anger, #technology, #engineering

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Man: How's the software coming? Alice: Still waiting for you to give me the specs so I can start. Man: I already told you it's a cloud app that does data. Hey, I can't do your job for you. You have to meet me halfway. Aren't you supposed to be "agile?" I mean, how hard is it to rearrange zeroes and ones all day? Should I ask again tomorrow? Alice: Sure, if you're alive.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #managing, #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #trick

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Boss: IS the software done yet? Wally: That depends. Do you have any new feature requests? Boss: Only three. Wally: Then it's not done, is it? Boss: Well, no, I guess not. So... when will it be done? Wally: It will be done one week after you give me your last changes. But I believe you taught us that change is good. So either you can be a stagnant bureaucrat or a dynamic leader with lots of changes. It's a question of free will, really. Boss: I have to be somewhere else.

Government Wants Access To Data

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Government Wants Access To Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #national security, #privacy, #technology, #big business, #terrorism

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CEO: The government wants us to make software that can unlock the encrypted data of our users. Either we choose privacy or national security. Should we betray our customers or should we enable terrorists? Figure out which one is more profitable and get back to me. Boss: On it.

For The Good Of The Country

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For The Good Of The Country - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #apple, #iphone, #technology, #national security, #privacy, #terrorism, #encryption

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Boss: The government wants us to make software to crack our own encryption. Dilbert: That sounds evil. Boss: It's for the good of the country. Dilbert: Can I test it on your phone? Boss: You'd have to kill me first. Dilbert: That would be two good things for the country.

Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software

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Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #national security, #privacy, #technology, #encryption, #security, #human error, #secrets

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Dilbert: Here's the flash drive with our anti-encryption software. Don't let it get into the wrong hands or it will eliminate all privacy on Earth. Do you understand? Boss: Blah, blah, software.

Elbonian Messenger

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Elbonian Messenger - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #secret, #security, #national security, #information, #human error, #spying, #encryption, #technology, #trust, #espionage

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Elbonian: I am the totally legitimate Elbonian bicycle messenger you called to deliver your encryption-breaking software. Boss: Hmmm... that's exactly what a terrorist would say. Elbonian: No I wouldn't. Boss: Just checking. Here's the flash drive.