Death Comic Strips - Page 22

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

234 Results for Death

View 211 - 220 results for death comic strips. Discover the best "Death" comics from Dilbert.com.

Naming The Spaceship

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Naming The Spaceship - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags naming, space, space flight, rocket, engineering, failure, death, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I'm looking for a name for the spaceship that I designed. Dilbert: How about "Death Tube?" Alice: "Space Debris?" Wally: "Final Resting Place?" Ted: I was hoping for something more positive. Voice: We're positive it will explode.

Picking The Spaceship Staff

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Picking The Spaceship Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags space, space flight, rocket, death, sacrifice, astronaut, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How's the Mars spaceship project going? Boss: Good. I picked our worst employees to be on the first test flight, just in case it explodes. CEO: Good thinking. Boss: We have two ways to win and no way to lose.

Spreading Ted's Ashes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Spreading Ted's Ashes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, ashes, cremation, death, spreading, toilet, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Ted's widow asked us to spread his ashes around the office because he loved his job. Wally: I'll do it. Alice: You didn't like Ted. Wally: Was that a requirement? Alice: Don't let anyone see you flush it.

Sparing A Robot's Feelings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sparing A Robot's Feelings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, sentience, feelings, emotions, afterlife, death, atheism, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: What kind of afterlife are we looking at here? Dilbert: Your meaningless existence will be punctuated by an eternity of darkness. Robot: Thanks for sparing my feelings! Dilbert: Sorry. I usually delete those first.

Reanimated Employee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reanimated Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags soul, death, near death experience, heaven, hell, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How did you end up with no soul? Randy: I died during surgery and my soul went to the afterlife before doctors reanimated my body. Dilbert: I thought the soul returns when that happens. Randy: You're thinking of heaven.

Ted Might Drop Dead

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Might Drop Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, monitor, fitbit, wearable tech, heart attack, diseases, death, prediction, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, your performance is poor. I need to let you go. Ted: Is it a coincidence that you're firing me at the same time my employee health monitor detected cardiovascular disease? How good are the predictive analytics on this? Boss: Don't make lunch plans.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags team, teamwork, team building, death, cover-up, denial, human resources, drowning, rafting, business, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: As you know, our team-building event did not go smoothly. In my defense, I had no way of knowing a class 6 whitewater adventure would be so bumpy. It took me by surprise when Ted fell in. But I'm proud that we came together as a team and agreed to not look for him. It would have ruined our timing for lunch. Anyway, I'm sure Ted swam to safety. Dilbert: Ted doesn't know how to swim. Boss: All in favor of pretending Ted didn't attend the event? Catbert: They didn't have life vests? Boss: You're thinking of the deluxe package.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assignment, deadline, free time, death march, payment, salary, pay check, bonus, non caring, cold, heartless monster, no sense shame, money

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I need this finished by Friday. Dilbert: This assignment will suck up 100% of my free time and turn my happy life into a f=death march. The boss: Thats why we pay you. You pay me so you can ruin my life? The boos: perhaps i said that wrong. The Boss: what I meant is that I don't care how you fell as long as I get my bonus. Dilbert: You're a cold, heartless monster with no sense of shame!!!! The Boss: That why they pay me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sociopath, obliviousness, tell-all

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: There's a new tell-all book about our company. CEO: How bad is it? Dilbert: It's bad. Anonymous sources within the company say you're a "raging sociopath with the intellect of a clam." CEO: Put out a press release denying those lies! Dilbert: That's going to be tricky to write. CEO: Just say I deny being a sociopath with the mind of a clam. Also say I hope whoever said that about me dies a slow and terrible death. Is that clear? Dilbert: Yes, on many levels.

Value Of An Employee's Life

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Value Of An Employee's Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, ethics, morals, morality, death, damage, value, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The proposed system would reduce accidental employee deaths by 20 percent. CEO: What is the ratio of the value of an employee's life compared to real people? Dilbert: I find your question disturbing. CEO: Just tell me the answer, halfling!