Exact Date Comic Strips - Page 22

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

223 Results for Exact Date

View 211 - 220 results for exact date comic strips. Discover the best "Exact Date" comics from Dilbert.com.

Carol Leaves Kids

Thank you for voting.
Carol Leaves Kids - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #babysitter, #children, #supervision, #date night, #parents, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Dilbert should be here soon to fill in for the babysitter. Your dad and I need to leave now. Just let him in. We turned off our phones, so don't try to reach us on our date night. Narrator: Two hours later. Boy: I don't think he's coming. Girl: I say we Airbnb this place.

Carol Berates Dilbert For Not Babysitting

Thank you for voting.
Carol Berates Dilbert For Not Babysitting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #babysitter, #children, #supervision, #refugees, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: You said you would watch my kids last night but you never showed up! Dilbert: You didn't give me your address, and you turned off your cellphone for your date night. I'm sure it was fine. Carol: An Elbonian family is living in my cupboard!!!

Miracle Of Consciousness

Thank you for voting.
Miracle Of Consciousness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #jaded, #blase, #unimpressed, #dating, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Do you ever marvel at the miracle of consciousness? Dilbert: No. People are just fish plus time. Woman: Does anything amaze you? Dilbert: This is my longest date ever! 49 minutes!

Longest Date Ever

Thank you for voting.
Longest Date Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #dating, #relationships, #Women, #Men, #attraction, #record, #conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My date lasted 53 minutes. Dogbert: That's your longest yet. Was she trapped in any way, such as under rubble? Dilbert: Nope! Dogbert: Wow. How'd you do it? Dilbert: I didn't talk for the first 49 minutes.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #logic, #false logic, #imagination, #managers, #review, #performance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because your performance was only average. Dilbert: How can you calculate an average for my performance? No one has ever been in my exact situation. Boss: I compared you to other employees. Dilbert: You compared me to strangers doing entirely different things? Boss: No, I compared you to imaginary people doing your exact job. It's called managing, and I'm very good at it. Dilbert: How do you know you're good at it? Boss: Because imaginary people do this job worse than I do.

Managing Your Boss

Thank you for voting.
Managing Your Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #management, #accountability, #blame, #time, #time management

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your project is three weeks behind schedule. Dilbert: That's the exact amount of time I was waiting for you to answer my questions. Boss: You need to manage me better. Dilbert: Okay, you're fired.

Alice Dates Robot

Thank you for voting.
Alice Dates Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #dating, #human resources, #company policy, #robot, #relationships, #free will, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Am I allowed to date a co-worker? Catbert: That's against company policy. Alice: Is our robot considered a co-worker? Catbert: No. Alice: We're good to go. Robot: Man, I wish I had free will.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #time machine, #time travel, #experiment, #algorithm, #planning, #mistake, #error, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss; Ted, we need a volunteer to test the time machine prototype. Ted: Is it safe? Boss: Of course it is. Would I ask you to risk your life if it were not safe? Ted: Yes. Boss: Oh, I didn't realize you knew that. But don't worry. The engineering consensus is that it will work. Dilbert: You will return to this exact spot in one day. Alice: Does our location algorithm account for planetary movement? Ted: I should have asked more questions.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #network, #optics, #stupid company, #Women, #imagination, #flirting, #miscommunication, #co workers, #argument, #women in management, #employees, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: do you have lunch plans? Dilbert: Aren't you married? Carol: Im not asking you out on a date, Im trying to network. Dilbert: The optics wouldn't be good. Carol: How am I supposed to network in this stupid company? Dilbert: Maybe you could network with other women. Carol: This company has no women in management! Now I see the problem. Its people like you! Dilbert: Is it my imagination or was she flirting with me? Wally: I can't tell.

Unforseen Problems

Thank you for voting.
Unforseen Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #building apps, #completion date, #problems, #unforseen

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It will take four weeks to build the app, unless there are unforeseen problems. how often do we have unforeseen problems? Dilbert: One hundred percent of the time. Then whats the point of estimating a completion date? Dilbert: I was hoping to make you stop talking but t dint work.