Hate The Messenger Comic Strips - Page 22
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273 Results for Hate The Messenger
View 211 - 220 results for hate the messenger comic strips. Discover the best "Hate The Messenger" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 17,
2016
Tags technology, learning, education, tutorial, frustration
Transcript
Dilbert: I love living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet. I'll just hop over to YouTube and learn how to use my new app. Perfect! I can choose from over a hundred different tutorials! It will only take me an hour or so to figure out which one refers to my version of the software. Narrator: One hour later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! These videos are poorly labeled! Narrator: Two hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This guy talks too slowly! Get to the point! Narrator: Three hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why are my menu options different from the tutorial? I hate living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday August 15,
2016
Asok Learns To Rank Priorities
Tags priorities, Advice, hate, misanthrope, misanthropy, organization
Transcript
Asok: I'm overworked because I don't know how to set priorities. Alice: Try ranking your tasks by how much you hate the people who asked for your help. Asok: What if I don't hate anyone? Alice: That problem solves itself over time.
Thursday September 15,
2016
Tina's Soul Will Live On
Tags reincarnation, afterlife, faith, soul
Transcript
Tina: I hate my job, but I'm looking forward to my afterlife. Dilbert: Are you hearing good things about decomposing? Tina: My soul will live forever. Wally: Good luck. I lost mine at my first performance review.
Monday September 26,
2016
Ceo Sits On His Wallet
Tags complaining, perspective, suffering, competition
Transcript
CEO: I hate to complain, but it hurts when I sit on my wallet for too long. Asok: I risked an honor killing to pay my rent. CEO: This is why I hate to complain. Asok: I know a hundred ways to eat a spider.
Sunday October 02,
2016
Tags correction, correcting, freak out, anger, tress, Advice, eavesdropping, awkward, temper
Transcript
Man: What's the best way to invest these days? Boss: Penny stocks are the best value because they only cost a penny. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate over hearing bad advice! Boss: If I were you, I"d take out a second mortgage and load up. Dilbert; I don't want to get involved, but I'll feel bad if I don't. Boss: You'll get reliable stock-picking advice from strangers on television. Dilbert: Run! Cover your ears and run! If it makes you feel any less awkward, I don't now what to do now, either.
Wednesday October 05,
2016
Ranked By Performance
Sunday December 11,
2016
Tags health, morning, waking up, sleepless, complaining, manager, sociopath, emotions
Transcript
Boss: Can you take a call with our Elbonian customers at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Dilbert: Sure. All I need to do is put my health at risk by not getting enough sleep tonight. Of course, I'll hate your guts for making me come to work so early. And I would expect my bad attitude to infect my co-workers and make them less productive, too. My lack of sleep will affect my decision-making, obviously. And I"m working on important projects, so the ripple effect could be catastrophic. So, do you still want me to be here at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Boss: Yes. You don't have to be a sociopath to be a manager, but it helps.
Wednesday December 14,
2016
Asok Kills The Wrong Cartoonist
Tags Garfield, hit man, cartoonist, mistaken identity
Transcript
Asok: I killed our spokesperson, Jim Davis, yesterday, as you ordered. Boss: You killed the wrong cartoonist! Asok: Now I hate Mondays even more.
Sunday January 08,
2017
Tags human, human nature, arguing, argument, social media, logic, critic, troll, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: If we move this button to here, people are more likely to see it. Man: Ha ha! OMG. LOL. So you think every person in the universe is blind? I can't wait to tell everyone that Dilbert thinks people have no eyes. The pure craziness of what you are saying is mid-boggling. Do you have any scientific proof that moving that button would not cause a nuclear holocaust? Dilbert: Everything you just said is dumb and unproductive, and I hate every molecule in your useless body. What's wrong with people? Dogbert: I keep tell you, it's everything.
Friday February 17,
2017
Management Fast Track
Tags talent, management, potential, frustration
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, our CEO asked me to put you on the management fast track. Dilbert: Why does he hate me so much? Boss: He didn't say, but I have a lot of guesses if you want to hear them.