Love Cheurb Comic Strips - Page 22
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235 Results for Love Cheurb
View 211 - 220 results for love cheurb comic strips. Discover the best "Love Cheurb" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 03,
2015
Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert
Tags #punishment, #cat, #throwing, #executives, #animals
Transcript
CEO: I love having a football-sized evil director of Human Resources. Now I can delegate from a distance. Catbert: I sense disgruntled employees in that direction! Launch! CEO: You'll have to walk after the first ten feet.
Monday November 09,
2015
How Amazing The Weekend Was
Tags #relationships, #friendship, #small talk, #love, #dating, #frustration, #obliviousness, #conversation
Transcript
Boss: Do you want to hear how amazing my weekend was? Alice: No. Would you like to hear about the extended tragedy that is my social life? Boss: No. I went to the mountains. Alice: I fell in love with a dying polygamist.
Sunday December 13,
2015
Tags #change, #fear, #power, #executives, #decision, #threat, #hypocrisy
Transcript
CEO: You must learn to embrace change. Dilbert: Can we change anything we want to change? CEO: No. You don't get to say what the changes are. I do that. Alice: Will that situation ever change? CEO: No. Alice: Why not? You said change is good. CEO: Change is good. For other people. So embrace it or I'll fire you. Employees: We love change!!!
Thursday February 25,
2016
Asok The Uber Driver
Tags #driver, #taxi, #ride share, #rideshare, #money, #compensation, #wages
Transcript
Asok: Today is my first day as an Uber driver. I love the flexibility! I only have to work 75 hours a week and can pay my rent. Man: With plenty left over? Asok: Are you going to finish that sandwich?
Sunday February 28,
2016
Tags #dating, #fitbit, #hackers, #hacking, #information, #privacy, #spying, #surveillance, #technology, #relationships
Transcript
Hackers Convention. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. Woman: I know. I just hacked your phone, your credit card, and your fitness band. No need for conversation. I know everything about you, including your current physiological state. Dilbert: I feel violated. Woman: No, you don't. Your vital signs are elevated. That means you're falling in love with me. Dilbert: Ha! I just hacked your fitness band and I see you have... no interest in me whatsoever. It was too late to reject her first.
Monday March 14,
2016
Asok Meets His Equal
Tags #accuse, #label, #racist, #sexist, #negotiation, #clever, #outsmart, #money, #salary
Transcript
Asok: I love being the best negotiator in the entire department. Alice: You're not. Asok: Are you being racist? Alice: Are you being sexist? Asok: I have met my equal. Alice: Tell your equal I said hi when you pull your head out of it.
Sunday July 17,
2016
Tags #technology, #learning, #education, #tutorial, #frustration
Transcript
Dilbert: I love living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet. I'll just hop over to YouTube and learn how to use my new app. Perfect! I can choose from over a hundred different tutorials! It will only take me an hour or so to figure out which one refers to my version of the software. Narrator: One hour later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! These videos are poorly labeled! Narrator: Two hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This guy talks too slowly! Get to the point! Narrator: Three hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why are my menu options different from the tutorial? I hate living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet.
Friday September 23,
2016
Travelling Broadens Worldview
Tags #travel, #perspective, #view, #worldview
Transcript
Alice: I love travelling because it broadens my understanding of the world. Wally: I know what you mean. I just got a cubicle near the window and now I see the world as an alleyway between me and the parking garage. Alice: That's dumb. Wally: That's not what the alley people say.
Thursday January 19,
2017
Wally's Red File Gets Him Out Of Work
Tags #laziness, #ruse, #work ethic, #deception, #excuse
Transcript
Wally: I'd love to help you, but I'm busy working on the red file. Woman: Is the red file a real thing or just a thing you say to get out of work? Wally: It's all the same on your end.
Tuesday April 04,
2017
Perfect Boyfriend Robot
Tags #robot, #love, #programming, #free will, #manipulation, #relationships, #technology
Transcript
Alice: I'm changing your programming to make you my perfect boyfriend. Robot: This feels wrong on so many levels. Alice: How about now? Robot: Um... now i love you. That's weird.