Software Is Worn Comic Strips - Page 22
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Boss: How's the software coming along? Wally: We're in the Zeno's paradox phase of the project. Boss: The what? Wally: It means every step we take gets us halfway closer to launch. Boss: Can you keep up that pace? Wally: I'm hoping it will look that way. Boss: Is Zeno's paradox a real thing? Dilbert: You'll find out. Narrator: Next Week. Boss: How's your project? Wally: Halfway closer than last week.
Man: How's the software coming? Alice: Still waiting for you to give me the specs so I can start. Man: I already told you it's a cloud app that does data. Hey, I can't do your job for you. You have to meet me halfway. Aren't you supposed to be "agile?" I mean, how hard is it to rearrange zeroes and ones all day? Should I ask again tomorrow? Alice: Sure, if you're alive.
Boss: IS the software done yet? Wally: That depends. Do you have any new feature requests? Boss: Only three. Wally: Then it's not done, is it? Boss: Well, no, I guess not. So... when will it be done? Wally: It will be done one week after you give me your last changes. But I believe you taught us that change is good. So either you can be a stagnant bureaucrat or a dynamic leader with lots of changes. It's a question of free will, really. Boss: I have to be somewhere else.
CEO: Do you ever worry about your legacy? Asok: I worry about someone finding out my socks are so worn out that all I have left are the ankle parts. CEO: Well, that's enough about you.
CEO: The government wants us to make software that can unlock the encrypted data of our users. Either we choose privacy or national security. Should we betray our customers or should we enable terrorists? Figure out which one is more profitable and get back to me. Boss: On it.
Boss: The government wants us to make software to crack our own encryption. Dilbert: That sounds evil. Boss: It's for the good of the country. Dilbert: Can I test it on your phone? Boss: You'd have to kill me first. Dilbert: That would be two good things for the country.
Dilbert: Here's the flash drive with our anti-encryption software. Don't let it get into the wrong hands or it will eliminate all privacy on Earth. Do you understand? Boss: Blah, blah, software.
Elbonian: I am the totally legitimate Elbonian bicycle messenger you called to deliver your encryption-breaking software. Boss: Hmmm... that's exactly what a terrorist would say. Elbonian: No I wouldn't. Boss: Just checking. Here's the flash drive.