Arms Out Comic Strips - Page 22

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Arms Out

View 211 - 220 results for arms out comic strips. Discover the best "Arms Out" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Has A Sitting Injury

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has A Sitting Injury - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags injury, sitting, human resources, complaint, stress, hurt, health, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I need to report a work-related injury. Studies say extended sitting can increase stress. I sat in my cubicle and got all stressed out. Catbert: You have a sitting injury? Wally: Don't trivialize my pain.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pessimism, people, experience, psychic, esp, sixth sense, learning, misanthrope

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I'll give you the data tomorrow, Asok. Asok: Thanks, Brad! Urk! Suddenly, I know I will not get that data tomorrow. Dilbert: Why are you so freaked out? Asok: I... I... think I can see the future now. Somehow I know that Brad will not do what he says he will do. Dilbert: That's called "experience." It's the first step toward hating all people. Asok: How can I make it stop? Dilbert: I hear good things about death.

Visualize Your Contribution To Society

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Visualize Your Contribution To Society - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meaning, overthinking, purpose, value, distraction, thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I like to start each workday by visualizing how my work will make the world a better place. Gaaaa!!! My life is meaningless and nothing I do will ever matter!!! Okay, good. I like to get that out of the way early.

Wally Engineers Something

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Engineers Something - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags genius, brilliant, idea, thinking, printer, technology, invention, medicine, deception, motivation, innovation, laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you design our robot's 3-D pill printer? Wally: Yup. Dilbert: The design is brilliant, except for the part where the pill drops out of the robot's butt. Why are you suddenly brilliant? Wally: Never had a reason before.

Hairdresser Illuminati

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Hairdresser Illuminati - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hair, haircut, hairstyles, success, Politics, candidates, secret organization, secret society, control

View Transcript

Transcript

The Hairdresser Illuminati. Dogbert: Before we start, I'll need to see a list of your political views. Hoo-boy, this is some crazy stuff. I have just the right hairstyle for this. There. That should keep you out of The White House.

Robots Read News Of Supreme Court Ruling

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robots Read News Of Supreme Court Ruling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags supreme court, partisan politics, engineers, morals, legislation, conservatism, liberal, guilt, innocence

View Transcript

Transcript

Robots Read News. Robot: The Supreme Court ruled that engineers cannot be found guilty of murder. Lawyers argued that any good engineer knows how to get away with murder, so getting caught is proof of innocence. The ruling was unanimous because no one could figure out which side was the liberal one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, unemployment, replacement, obsolete, app, job, jobs, dating, logic, business, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: ...and that's what I do for a living. What do you do? Dilbert: I'm building an app that will make your entire industry obsolete. I'm almost done. It looks pretty good. Woman: You're destroying my life! Dilbert: No, I'm only making the app. The app will be destroying your life. Woman: This got awkward, but I'm attracted to smart men, so... would you like to go out this weekend? Dilbert: I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get past your dead-end career.

How The Elbonians Spun It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How The Elbonians Spun It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags slavery, slave, slaves, semantics, owner, ownership, obliviousness, wages, money, pay, payment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How's it going with the Elbonians you bought on the Internet? CEO: I had to set them free. Turns out it was slavery after all. Dilbert: You made them work without pay. CEO: Yeah, that's the spin they put on it, too.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ideas, problems, talking, solution, obliviousness, criticism, honesty

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why didn't you tell me our biggest vendor pulled out of the deal? Dilbert: If I told you my problems, you would suggest solutions. Your solutions generally don't make sense. But you are my boss, so I would be obliged to waste time looking into your suggestions. So if you try to solve my problem, I will have two problems instead of one. Boss: Sometimes my ideas are good! Right? Dilbert: That is a dangerous way to think.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meditate, meditation, mindful, mindfulness, mbct, stress, trick, laziness, deception, work ethic, ruse, nap, napping

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Do you mind if I take Steve Jobs' advice and practice meditation and mindfulness? Science says meditation can reduce stress and make me more productive. And obviously it worked for Steve Jobs, so there's that. To the untrained eye, it will seem as if I am napping. But in reality, I will be quieting my mind to boost creativity. Boss: Meditate on your own time. Wally: Wow. That just stressed me out and shut down my creative juices. Boss: Just do your job! Wally: Because quality doesn't matter?