Bad Winner Comic Strips - Page 22

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View 211 - 220 results for bad winner comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Winner" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #employees, #hatered, #run over, #clown, #ugly truth, #demise, #bad wishes, #business

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The Ugly Truth Visits Man: Your employees hate your carb-fattened guts. They hope you get run over by a clown car because it will make your demise extra funny. Boss: I hear mumbling but no on is there! Man: It's weird for me too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #wages, #saved company millions, #no bonus, #ceo plans, #500 million, #acquisitions, #go team, #money

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Boss: Alice, your great work this year saved the company $10 million. But I can't give you a bonus because our CEO plans to write down $500 million for acquisitions gone bad. Go team!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #resume, #piece of work, #lie, #exaggeration, #mispelling, #bad format, #failed prodcuts, #salsa dancer, #applicants resume, #handsome fellow, #busted

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Boss: Take a look at this resume. Alice: Ha ha! This guy is a piece of work! Lie... lie... exaggeration... misspelling... bad format... worked on failed products. Ooh! He's also a champion salsa dancer. What a tool! Wait. Why aren't you joining in the traditional mocking of the applicant's resume? Dilbert: I'm waiting to find out if he's the handsome fellow standing behind you. Alice: Scoot over. You're blocking my view of a handsome guy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dieting & weight control, #interviews, #tattoos & body marking, #job interview, #face tattoo, #overeating, #bad idea, #people can see, #dont interview well

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Boss: Did you ever think that getting that face tattoo might be a bad career move? Interviewee: No. Was there ever a time you thought overeating was a bad idea? Because people can see that. Boss: You don't interview well. Job interview

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choked pooch, #platform deciosn, #throw under bus, #very bad person, #regional idioms

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The Boss: Carl choked the pooch on the platform decision. I need you to throw him under the bus. Asok: He sounds like a very bad person, I will take care of that right away. I just found a website that kits regional idioms. Ive done some bad, bed things.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #bad job, #new assignment, #poor job, #matching skills, #business

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Boss: Can you explain why you're doing such a bad job on your new assignment? Dilbert: Yes I can: some idiot did a poor job matching my skills to my assignment. Boss: Let's try it again, but this time say something bad about yourself. Dilbert: I'm too honest?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #banking, #international bank, #bail out, #treasury, #feral, #money, #countries

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Elbonian: Is this Dogbert's International Bank for Bailing Out Countries That Are Bad at Math? Dogbert: Yes. Elbonian: Our treasury is empty and we're not sure why. The entire country is becoming sort of feral. Dogbert: How much money do you need? Elbonian: No more than $85.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brainstorm, #discussion, #less effective, #meetings, #new product ideas, #stem cell technology

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Boss: Let's brainstorm new product ideas. Remember, the most important rule of brainstorming is no criticizing. Dilbert: I'll go first. Research shows that brainstorming is less effective than people working by themselves and later comparing ideas. My idea is to use stem cell technology to design bosses who aren't ignoramuses. Remember, you're not supposed to criticize ideas. But if you decide to do it anyway, it sort of proves my point. I understand whey brainstorming has a bad reputation, but it doesn't stop me from enjoying it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad stocks, #disclose holdings, #money, #newsletter, #stock market, #stock picker, #traded stocks, #pumpanddump

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Dogbert: I'm starting a pump-and-dump newsletter for thinly traded stocks. It's legal as long as I disclose my holdings and my bad stock picks can be attributed to honest mistakes. Meet my stock picker. Coworker: All shhtocks go up!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #bad idea, #email, #hate, #meeting, #recommend changes, #bed ideas, #business

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Coworker: Did you see my email with all of my recommended changes to your product? Dilbert: Yes. Everything you suggested is a bad idea, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life explaining why. Coworker: Now I hate you. Dilbert: All roads headed in that directions. All I did was take the shortest one.