Big Plot Comic Strips - Page 22

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337 Results for Big Plot

View 211 - 220 results for big plot comic strips. Discover the best "Big Plot" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #training, #big binder, #training forgotten, #binder last forever, #living monument, #temporary knowledge, #cubcile, #approve funding, #free up funds, #training budget

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Wally sticks his head into the boss' office. Wally says, "I'm back from training." Wally says, "I got a big binder." Wally holds out a big book. Wally says, "The training is already forgotten but the binder will last forever." Wally brings the binder to his chest. Wally says, "A living monument to temporary knowledge!" Wally says, "I'll put it in my cubicle with the others." Wally says, "Speaking of my cubicle, which direction is it?" The Boss points. Wally says, "Okay, thanks. That information should be in a binder." Dilbert says, "Did he approve funding for our project?" Wally says, "Not yet. Step one was to free up funds from the training budget."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #authentic baby, #week old, #explain absence, #mickey rooney

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Woman's hands holds a babay over The Boss's desk. Woman says, "This is an authentic baby, less than one week old." Woman says, "As I feed this authentic baby in fron of you, recall how big my stomach was last week." Woman says, "So, do I still need a note from my doctor to explain my absence?" The Boss says, "Yes, unless you can prove where Mickey Rooney is right now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gauge glug, #keep discipline, #tendency snack, #zesty italian dressing, #telecommunting

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Alice is telecommuting. She's dressed in a bath robe and sitting at the table with some food and a speaker phone. The voice on the telephone says, "How do you like telecommuting, Alice?" Alice says, "It's good, except I've developed a tendency to snack." Alice tosses her head back and takes big gulping drinks from a bottle. The voice says, "I'm sure you'll keep your discipline." Alice says, "I LOVE Zesty Italian dressing." Alice burps.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fun talking, #little bored, #shut you down, #conversation, #self centered girl, #yawn

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Dilbert is on a date. He walks his date home. She says, "I had fun talking to you tonight, Gilbert." The date says, "It got a little boring when you tried to steer the conversation away from me. But I managed to shut you down by looking uninterested." Dilbert corrects her. "It's Dilbert, not Gilbert." His date lets out a big fake yawn.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #old job, #network systems, #asminstrator, #reckless abuse, #power, #new ethernet card, #solve problem, #big pile, #office

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dilbert eats potato chips. Dogbert announces, "I'm going back to my old job as a network systems administrator." Dilbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert offers Dogbert some chips as Dogbert says, "I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power." Asok the Intern sits at his computer and looks at Dogbert who is waving an ethernet card at him. Dogbert says, "This new ethernet card could solve your problems. Would you like a sniff before I throw it in a big pile in my office?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #title of book, #gives away plaot, #hemingway, #imagination, #chick magnet

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk through the park. Dilbert is wearing a jogging suit and holds a Frisbee. He says, "I hate it when the title of a book gives away the whole plot." Dilbert throws the Frisbee. He says, "Take Hemingway's "Old Man and the Sea." Geez, talk about leaving nothing to the imagination." The Frisbee lies on the ground. Dilbert says, "I guess the odds were very low that you would leap in the air and catch that." Dogbert replies, "I'm only here to be a chick magnet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ten percent raise, #fifteen percent more, #twenty percent, #no budget, #raises, #give big raises, #reward for leaving work, #price sheet

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Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. He says, "I want a ten-percent raise." The Boss replies, "There's no budget for raises." Dilbert holds up a letter and says, "I have an offer from another company that will pay fifteen percent more." The Boss says, "I'll give you twenty percent if you stay." Dilbert says, "I thought you said there's no budget for raises." The Boss replies, "Well . . . It's supposed to be a secret but . . ." The Boss says, "Our policy is to give big raises to people who spend their time interviewing for other jobs." Dilbert tells Alice and Wally, "Good news! The secret company policy is to reward disloyalty!" They cheer and shout, "Yes! Yippee!" Wally asks, "What's the reward for leaving work early?" Dilbert replies, "He wouldn't show me the price sheet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #over slept, #big meeting, #no makeup, #newt gingrich

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Alice rolls over in bed and reaches for her alarm clock. The clock says 7:05. Alice thinks, "Oh, no! I overslept . . . No time to apply makeup before my big meeting!" Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Alice asks, "Okay, does everyone understand their tasks?" Wally replies, "I'll get right on it." Dilbert replies, "Absolutely." Alice walks down the hall thinking, "I wonder why they were so respectful today." Asok walks up to Alice and shouts, "It's Newt Gingrich!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #calculated, #total time, #humans wait, #web pages, #information age, #big plot, #web is plot, #normal society

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Dogbert sits on the couch. Dilbert says, "I calculated the total time that humans have waited for Web pages to load . . ." Dilbert continues, "It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age." Dilbert says, "Sometimes I think the Web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society." Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh, he's on to me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #first salesperson, #noah, #sell ark, #animals, #yacht, #sales babble, #disguise motives, #pioneered lame joke, #weather, #reach quota, #blaming engineering, #greatest innovation

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Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the couch. Ratbert asks, "Who was the world's first salesperson, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Some people say it was a guy named Noah." The caption says, "Noah's last name was content." Noah says, "I have a big, curly stick and I don't even know why." The caption says, "His job was to sell an ark cruise to animals." Noah asks an opossum hanging in a tree, "Did I say ark? I meant yacht." The caption says, "He invented soemthing called sales-babble to disquise his motives." Noah says, "We'll partner to leverage our value-adds in a win-win proposition." A beaver looks confused. The caption says, "He pioneered the lame joke." Noah asks a giraffe, "How's the weather up there? Hee hee!" The caption says, "When he couldn't reach quota, he got creative." Noah hands a unicorn horn to a cat and says, "Strap this to your head and don't ask questions." The caption says, "But his greatest innovation he called 'blaming engineering.'" An angry bear tells Noah, "I can't find the honey spa." Noah thinks, "Think fast."