Coolest Guy Comic Strips - Page 22

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

374 Results for Coolest Guy

View 211 - 220 results for coolest guy comic strips. Discover the best "Coolest Guy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #grabbed by hand, #my sales meeting, #dressed like god, #huge hand, #guy, #thought it would be funny, #hee hee

View Transcript

Transcript

The plane is shown being grabbed by a giant hand. A flight crew member announces, "Folks, please stay in your seats. We've been grabbed by a huge hand." The woman next to Dilbert looks terrified. Dilbert says, "I hope this has nothing to do with how I dressed for my sales meeting at the Vatican." Ratbert is watching television at home. A voice from the television says, "But it turned out to be a guy with a huge hand who said he 'thought it would be funny.'" Ratbert laughs, "Hee hee! Huge hand."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new product brochures, #design awards, #great, #award winning designer, #can't stop complaining

View Transcript

Transcript

In a meeting, a co-worker hands Dilbert a brochure and exclaims, "The new product brochures have already won design awards!" Dilbert responds, "That's great, but our product won't do any of the things you claim here." The co-worker crosses his arm and says, "Well, who should we believe - the award-winning designer or the guy who can't stop complaining?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eye contact, #unpackageable, #generous severence, #volunteers, #retired bliss, #cruel twist fate, #keep job, #organic vessel, #self pity, #fishing, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok and Dilbert are walking down the hall. Dilbert warns, "Uh-oh... don't make eye contact with that guy." Asok asks, "Why not?" Dilbert explains, "Ernie is unpackageable." Dilbert continues, "Last year, the company offered a generous severance package to people who volunteered to leave." Dilbert continues, "Ernie volunteered. He imagined a life of retired bliss outside this company." Dilbert continues, "But too many people volunteered. In a cruel twist of fate, Ernie was forced to keep his job." Dilbert continues, "Now he's nothing but an organic vessel for transporting self- pity." Ernie runs up to Asok and Dilbert and cries, "I could have been fishing!!! Waaa!!!" Alice, Asok, and Dilbert are sitting together. Asok's hair is standing straight up and he still has a panicked expression on his face. Alice asks, "You looked?" Dilbert responds, "I tried to warn him."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new guy, #middles part, #forbid, #near work space, #not good people, #1970's called

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert introduces the new coworker to Carol, "Carol, this is our new guy, Harry Middlepart." Harry extends his hand. Carol responds, "I don't approve of your hairstyle. I forbid you to be near my workspace." Carol holds out the phone and yells, "The seventies called. They want their hair back!!" Harry says to Dilbert as they walk away, "She's not good people."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blue jeans, #ceo tries average, #chauffer, #dressed as fox, #drove tractor, #fox hunt, #helicopter, #interns, #ironic, #real work, #roll sleeve, #like secretary

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our CEO will be joining us in a minute." The Boss continues, "As usual, he'll be making an awkward attempt to seem like 'just plain folk.'" The CEO enters. He points to the chair next to Wally and says, "Excuse me - is this ordinary chair available for an average guy like me?" The CEO rolls up his sleeves and says, "I'll roll up my sleeves and get to work. I'm not too good for real work." The CEO turns to Alice and says, "I have a secretary, but it's almost as if I work for her. Ha ha! It's ironic." The CEO says, "Last weekend I wore blue jeans and drove a tractor!" A driver approaches the CEO and says, "Sir, your helicopter is here to take you to your island fortress for the fox hunt." The CEO turns to the meeting and says, "Itty bitty fortress." The driver adds, "The interns are already in full fox costumes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #statue, #front entrance, #unlucky guy, #karl, #feed birds, #serving example

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our facilities management says the new statue by the front entrance isn't a statue." The Boss continues, "It's an unlucky guy named Karl who had been warned many times not to feed the birds." The Boss continues, "Then it talks about statistical clustering.. blah, blah, blah.. and serving an example."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fire toxic co worker, #lazy and ineffectual, #selfish, #toxic guy, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, and Alice approach The Boss. Dilbert says, "We demand that you fire our toxic co-worker." Wally turns to Dilbert and asks, "You aren't talking about me, are you?" Dilbert turns and says, "No, you're lazy and ineffectual with an overlay of selfish." Wally asks, "And I hate the toxic guy?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customers current, #future needs, #new design, #need to upgrade, #flaws in design, #flaws, #inetrface, #confounding, #crippling electric shocks, #guy with mullet, #marketing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to a slide and says, "My new design will meet all of our customers' current and future needs." The Boss is sitting with two board members, one male and one female. The male board member says, "That's no good; they'll never need to upgrade." Dilbert responds, "Please don't ask me to put flaws in my design." The Boss says, "Flaws could work." The male board member says, "We need flaws." The female board member says, "Flaws, flaws, flaws." Dilbert grabs his tie in fear and says, "Please.... No....." The Boss says, "Make it freeze every hour." The male board member says, "The interface needs to be more confounding." The female board member raises her finger and says, "And..." Headline: Later. Dilbert is on the floor begging, "Please... No more." A voice from the meeting continues, "... And crippling electric shocks." Headline: Much, much later. The Boss says, "The help screen could recommend marrying an unemployed, shirtless guy with a mullet." The male board member responds, "That's marketing!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #saved money, #hired guy, #unlucky, #many problems, #ex boyfreind, #sobers up

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces a new employee to Dilbert, "We saved money by hiring a guy who's had many personal problems." The Boss continues, "But we're sure he was just unlucky. No one would invite that many problems into his life." The new employee's cell phone rings. The new employee says into his cell phone, "Yes, of course your ex-boyfriend can stay with us until the choppers leave and he sobers up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cat show, #clothing, #date, #good listener, #mindless replica, #uninteresting stories

View Transcript

Transcript

A female coworker asks Dilbert, "Would it be okay if I asked your mindless replica for a date?" The coworker continues, "I'm full of uninteresting stories and I need a guy who's a good listener." The coworker and the Visibuddy are at dinner. The coworker says, "Now I'll describe the clothing of each person at the cat show." The Visibuddy hits himself in the head with a fork, "Thunk!"