Face On Cows Butt Comic Strips - Page 22

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

345 Results for Face On Cows Butt

View 211 - 220 results for face on cows butt comic strips. Discover the best "Face On Cows Butt" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #temp, #sign time sheet, #permanent position, #dog, #has fake owner, #dilbert clone, #doll, #stand in, #fake person, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks through the door of his house and says, "Dogbert! I'm ho-o-ome!" Dogbert appears in the doorway and says, "I'll be right there. I have to sign the temp's time sheet." Dilbert walks into the living room and finds a man sitting on a couch in a mask of his face, and Dogbert standing next to him saying, "If you're ever interested in a full-time position, give me a call."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bug in software, #email address book, #send message, #hard data, #fix bug, #money, #finds mothers name, #compares face to animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands before a presentation screen with a model on it. He explains, "We found a bug in our software." Another panel comes up and Dilbert continues, "It searches your e-mail address book for your mother's name." The Boss, Alice and Wally listen as Dilbert says, "Every Sunday it uses your e-mail to send her a message..." Dilbert continues, "...Comparing her face to various parts of animals." The Boss asks, "Do you have any hard facts that proves we should fix the bug?" The Boss continues, "We can't just throw money at every problem." His secretary stands behind him, holding a phone in her hand. Carol, the Boss's secretary says, "It's your mother." The Boss puts the receiver to his ear and his mother screams, "YOU MISERABLE %$#@&!!!" Dilbert looks at the Boss and says, "See what I mean?" The Boss replies, "No. I get this call every day" as his mother continues to curse.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hardening, #given more work, #central nervous system, #suddenly stiff, #ripening asok, #apathy cream, #air hole

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Catbert, "Would you like to join me for a hardening?" Catbert asks, "What's that?" The Boss explains, "A hardening is when an employee is given more work than his central nervous system can handle." The Boss holds his arms out stiffly and says, "His whole body suddenly goes stiff." Catbert says, "I'm in." The Boss says, "I've been ripening Asok all month." Catbert says, "Purrr purrr." The Boss and Catbert look at Asok as he sits as his computer and thinks to himself, "So much work... no time." The Boss, handing Asok a piece of paper, says, "Asok, I have another assignment for you." Asok responds, "Gaaa!!!" Wally and Dilbert peer over Asok's cubicle. Wally says, "I heard a hardening. Get the Apathy Cream." A solid mask of Apathy Cream has been applied to Asok's face. Wally says, "He'll be okay when the apathy sinks in." Dilbert says, "We forgot the air hole."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #small alice, #kill people, #looking at them, #smiling, #man dies, #scary face

View Transcript

Transcript

A male co-worker says to Alice, "Smile, Alice. It won't hurt." As Alice glares at the co-worker, he grabs at his throat and cries, "Gaaak!!" At a table, eating lunch with Wally and Dilbert, Alice says, "I found out I can kill people by looking at them." Dilbert says, "I wondered why you were smiling."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #headache, #doozy, #topper, #bangs head, #must be more

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says to Topper, "My head-ache is a doozy." Topper says, "Ha! That's nothing." Tina looks on as Topper hits his head forcefully on the desk to the sound of "Bam! Bam! Bam!" Tina says, "Um... You win." Topper, his face battered, says, "I'm just getting started!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #perfromance review, #say its good, #rub in face, #expectations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks The Boss, "Is that what you wanted?" The Boss answers, "I'm not saying." The Boss says to Dilbert, "If I tell you it's good, you'll rub it in my face at your performance review." Dilbert says, "I'm sorry." The Boss says, "See how you are?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #not care, #subordinates, #all changed, #not caring funtion

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Asok the Intern, "I used to not care about my subordinates." The Boss says to Asok, "But that's all changed." The Boss says to Asok as Alice, The Boss' secretary, looks on, "Now I delegate the not-caring function to what's-her-face over here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #two faced, #employee, #see one, #turn around, #other faces, #confusing, #frustrating, #pointing

View Transcript

Transcript

Edfred: I disagree with Dilbert. The boss's plan is brilliant. Dilbert: Your other face agreed with me two minutes ago! What other face? No...I still just see the one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company sadist, #forwarded email, #email insulted, #interesting theory

View Transcript

Transcript

The sadist approaches Alice and says, "I forwarded your e-mail to everyone." Alice now shocked and horrified, turns to face the sadist. She says, "Gaaa! That e-mail insulted half the people on our project!!" After reading Alice's email, Carol says to Alice and Dilbert "That's an interesting theory about why my hair is brown."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fake disability leave, #missed camaraderie, #stimulating conversation, #didn't know gone, #not missed

View Transcript

Transcript

With Dilbert's back turned facing his computer, Wally says "I came back early from my fake disability leave." Wally continues, "I missed the camaraderie and the stimulating conversation." Dilbert replies without turning to face Wally, "I didn't know you were gone." Wally replies, "Not bad for a Tuesday."