Hostile Questions Comic Strips - Page 22

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224 Results for Hostile Questions

View 211 - 220 results for hostile questions comic strips. Discover the best "Hostile Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #reject, #generous, #company, #hostile takeover, #formidable, #adversary, #lawyers, #clothes off

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Dilbert says to two attorneys, "I've decided to reject your generous offer to buy the company." Dilbert continues, "And if you try to make this a hostile takeover you will find me to be a formidable adversary." Dilbert arrives at home with his clothes ripped to shreads. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then their lawyers chewed my clothes off."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #friend, #service, #questions, #accidentally, #borrowed, #tool, #lethal, #trap, #qualified, #sea monkeys

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The sign over Dogbert's desk reads, "Dogbert's Find-A-Friend Service." A man says, "I'd like to find a friend." Dogbert says, "Have a seat." Dogbert says, "I need to ask a few questions, so I don't accidentally match you with somebody who's too good for you." Dogbert says, "One: When a friend doesn't return a borrowed tool, do you? a: Make sarcastic comments; b: buy a new tool; c: set a lethal trap." The man answers, "C: Set a lethal trap." Later, Dogbert reads the results of the test and says, "I'm afraid you haven't qualified for a normal friend . . . I could set you up with somebody who's new in town, but it wouldn't last." Dogbert says, "There's one option . . . Two, if you count growing sea monkeys." The man stands at Dilbert's door. Dilbert says, "Yes, I hate sea monkeys too. Who are you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #tabloid, #devoted, #lies, #impatience, #fools, #legendary, #choked, #man, #necktie, #stupid, #questions, #shoulder

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The caption says, "Dogbert starts a tabloid newspaper devoted to lies about himself." Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types. Dilbert asks, "Where do you get your ideas?" Dogbert types, "Dogbert's impatience with fools was legendary. He once choked a man by his necktie for asking stupid questions." Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder as Dogbert types, "It happened one day when the fool was reading over Dogbert's shoulder and got too close."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #concludes, #proposal, #executive, #commitee, #Dogbert, #presentation, #mocking

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Dilbert stands next to an easel holding a pointer. He says, "This concludes my proposal to the executive committee. Any questions?" An executive replies, "No, I think most of us were thing about other things." The man continues, "But here's my impression of what you looked like giving the presentation." The man stands up and mocks Dilbert. He says, "Fuh fuh fuh . . ." Another exec says, "No, no, it was more like . . ." The man stands up, makes a funny face and says, "Fuh fuh fuh . . ." Dilbert arrives at home. Dogbert asks, "How did your presentation go?" Dilbert replies, "Don't ask." Dogbert says, "Fuh fuh. Don't ask. Fuh fuh . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #questions, #booking, #vacation, #money, #hole, #ground, #clyde, #exactly

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Dilbert stands in a hole and says to Dogbert, "I'll admit, I should have asked more questions before booking our vacation to Clyde Canyon." Dilbert continues, "But it's not as if we're just throwing our vacation money into a . . . a . . ." Dogbert says, "Hole in the ground?" Dilbert responds, "Exactly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #rambling, #questions, #focus, #johnson, #fetch, #stick, #achieve, #sacrificing, #customer, #the boss

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, the staff meeting is over. Does anybody have any meaningless rambling questions? Johnson?" Johnson asks, "How can we work as a team to achieve total quality without sacrificing customer focus?" The Boss asks, "How many people would like to see me make Johnson fetch this stick?" Everyone raises their hands.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 1990's comic on:


Tags #bradley, #Dilbert, #valid, #analyst, #witch, #finances, #accounting, #budget report

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Witch: So... You've come to the accounting department for an explanation of the budget report, aye? Unchain him, Bradley. Normally we would torture and kill you for questioning our report. Dilbert: But you realized that my questions are valid? Witch: No. I'm promoting Bradley. You're my new analyst.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1990's comic on:


Tags #witch, #accounting department, #Dilbert, #chains, #man, #woman, #gender, #sex & gender, #figures, #Number

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A witch sitting on a throne points at Dilbert and yells, "Fool! Why have you come to the accounting department?!!" Dilbert is wrapped in chains and guarded by a troll holding a spear. Dilbert says, "Uh . . . I had some questions, sir . . . Ma'am . . . Er, sir?" Dilbert asks, "Are you a man or woman?" The witch replies, "In accounting, it doesn't really matter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1990's comic on:


Tags #finance troll, #bad time, #report, #accounting, #Dilbert, #witch, #figures

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Dilbert: This must be the company accounting department. I... I need to ask some questions about this b-budget report. Dilbert: Is this a bad time for you? Accounting Witch: Always.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1990's comic on:


Tags #bob, #dawn, #dogberts, #security, #neutralize, #motives, #accident, #dinosaurs, #cult

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The caption says, "Bob and Dawn join Dogbert's cult." Dogbert says to Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs, "You two are in charge of security." Dogbert continues, "Your job is to neutralize anybody who questions my motives." Dawn says, "Actually, we have some questions of our own . . ." Dawn asks, "Or should we just neutralize ourselves?" Dogbert replies, "Make it look like an accident."