Invented Quantum Computer Comic Strips - Page 22

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

714 Results for Invented Quantum Computer

View 211 - 220 results for invented quantum computer comic strips. Discover the best "Invented Quantum Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #bad computer, #designed to be slower, #unrelaible, #defragment, #disk drive

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert's Tech Support " You have a bad case of computer rot." "Your computer is designed to become slower and more unreliable over time so you have to upgrade." "But if you'd like some false hope, I can tell you to defragment your disk drive."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stress hump, #no asignment, #no compeer no freinds, #resist, #the hump

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Employee "No assignment...no computer...no friends to talk to..." "It's just me and this huge stress hump." "Wazzup?" "Must...resist...urge...to name the hump...and talk to it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #emailed file, #accomplishments, #entire month, #open the file, #down load, #browser, #upgrade broswer, #operating system, #upagrde, #software, #hard disk, #view of file, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

"My accomplishement this month was opening a file that someone e-mailed." "That took an entire month?" "It wasn't that easy. I didn't have the right software to open the file." "I tried to download the viewer from the Internet but the Web site didn't support my browser." "And I couldn't upgrade my browser until I updated my operating system!" "That required me to upgrade all of my software, too." "My hard disk got maxed out, so I had to upgrade my computer and transfer all of the files." "So, then you got to view the file?" "Yeah...It was a funny one about a cat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer freeze, #possible fixes, #possible combination, #no guaretntee, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Hello. My crashinbox computer keeps freezing up. "There are 25 possible fixes but they must be tried in every combination." "That's 625 things I'd have to try with no guarantee that any of it will work." "So you're saying you're lazy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no budget, #no staff, #wits and computer, #wits, #pencil

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I might have no budget and no staff to help me on my project, but that doesn't matter." "Because all I need are my wits and my computer." The Boss: "My computer is too slow. I'm taking yours." Dilbert: "My wits and... this pencil." The boss: "Hey, isn't that my pencil?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slow computer, #uogarde, #cost benefit analysis, #vice president approval

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "My computer is too slow. I need to upgrade it." The Boss: "I need a cost benefit analysis including the cost of all alternatives, and vice president approval." Dilbert: "It was easier to get a second job and pay for the upgrade myself."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #upgrade computer, #non standard equipment, #cubicle, #den, #non stardard, #onitor, #healing, #clense, #upgraded computer, #abacus

View Transcript

Transcript

I asked the I.T. department to upgrade my computer. "They're coming here??!" "We must hide our non-standard equipment!" "Uh-oh." "So-o-o... this den of non-standardization must be your cubicle." "This non-standard printer is coming with me. And I don't remember that monitor on our list." "I must cleanse your cubicle of non-conformancce so the healing can begin." "Surely my upgraded computer will arrive soon." Months later "Abacus?" "Please shut up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accomplishments, #past 3 months, #cutsomers, #misconceptions, #objective, #home computer, #paraphase, #flew to wrong city, #upgraded computer

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "What? You have no accomplishments this month???" "What did you do for the past three months?" Dilbert: "Well, I spent much of that time correcting misconceptions that you gave to our customers." "And I attended meetings with you to keep you from creating additional misconceptions." "I spent a month working on an objective that you forgot to tell me didn't matter." "I flew to the wrong city for a meeting because you confused Houston with Austin." "And I upgraded your home computer so you wouldn't have to pay someone to do it." "Allow me to paraphrase: Blah, blah, blah, you didn't accomplish anything."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pantless prima donna, #alert patent offcie, #hardware, #computer, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

"Pantless prima donna" "May I ask you a question?" "Silence, fool!" "Alert the patent office that I am about to begin. They might want to increase staff." "Maybe you should turn on your computer." "I don't do hardware."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #non credible guy, #invented reality tv, #preposterous stories, #picture hostility & curiosity, #einstein, #entertain realtives, #new theory, #liar, #pathological liar, #lies

View Transcript

Transcript

The non-credible guy "And that's how I invented 'reality tv.'" "Why don't you keep telling me preposterous stories while I stare at you with a mixture of hostility and curiosity?" "And then Einstein asked me to entertain his relatives while he thought of a name for his new theory." "Good, good."