Punch More Comic Strips - Page 22

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

995 Results for Punch More

View 211 - 220 results for punch more comic strips. Discover the best "Punch More" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #respect, #prototype, #economical, #mental illness, #level conscious

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Your prototype will never economical. Dilbert: Certainty about the future is a sign of mental illness. CEO: Try to be more level-conscious. Dilbert: Yes, Your Highness.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #rich people, #being rich, #income inequality, #happy, #networth, #thousand times, #800 times, #net worth

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I like a lot of things about being rich, but I like the income inequality the best. It makes me happy to know that my net worth is about a thousand times more than yours. Dilbert: It's actually closer to 800 times my net worth. Dogbert: You ruined it!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #slacker, #entire career, #listen to podcasts, #drink coffe, #surf internet, #multi slacking

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've been a slacker my entire career, but now I want more out of life. My plan is to listen to podcasts while I drink coffee and search the Internet for fun. Dilbert: Multi-slacking? Wally: Wish me luck.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #change recommendation, #approval, #feel ownership, #feel you own me, #ignorant decisions, #more clear, #agreement, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Change your recommendation to the opposite of what you wrote and send it to me for approval. Dilbert: Why do I need approval for the thing you just approved? Boss: I want you to feel some ownership. Dilbert: I already feel that you own me. Boss: I mean that I want you to feel ownership of the recommendation. Dilbert: How can I feel ownership of your ignorant decisions? Boss: By getting my approval for them. I can't be more clear. Dilbert: At least we agree on that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #efficiency experts, #wide transformation, #compettetive, #solutions, #pay the most, #consultants, #recommendations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our consultant has recommended a company-wide transformation to make us more competitive. Dilbert: Is it a coincidence that consultants always recommend solutions that pay their firms the most? Boss: How would I know? Dogbert: I'll look into that for you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disciplines, #horns, #injected, #magic, #spell remover, #tail, #work ethic, #performance enhancing, #drugs, #boss injected

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our boss injected me with job performance enhancing drugs. Wally: Job performance be gone! Apparently, I can do that now. Asok: I must find more disciples.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #efficiency experts, #medicines, #more motivated, #competetive, #safe and natural, #side effects, #psychopathy, #improved dating life, #needle, #injection

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I found a quick way to make you more motivated and competitive. I know it's safe because it's all natural. The only known side effects are psychopathy and an improved dating life.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #poor mangement, #missed gaols, #360 review, #doing great, #menat to say, #back pedal

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You missed all of your goals. Dilbert: Because of poor management. I'll go into more detail when I do my 360-degree review of you. Boss: I meant to say you're doing great. Dilbert: That's what I meant to say too.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #efficiency experts, #friendship, #money, #you won't quit, #friends at work, #pay less, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say you'll be more engaged if you have a friend at work. And when you're engaged, I can pay you less and you won't quit. Dilbert: So this guy is costing me money? Wally: Don't flatter yourself. I barely know your name.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #efficiency experts, #employee tracking, #wandering aorund, #meetings, #restroom trips, #employee monitoring, #wrist monitor, #low levels of caffeine, #typos up, #beat authority figure, #tablet computer, #danger signals, #workloads

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Okay, let's see how employee 3452378 is doing. According to our employee tracking system, you have wandered around the office 17% more than the average employee. Dilbert: Maybe I have more meetings than most people. Boss: No, most of the difference is in restroom trips and detours past an attractive woman's desk. Your wrist monitor shows unacceptably low levels of caffeine for your workload. That's probably why your typos are up 9% and you have looked away from your workstation nine more times than last month. Now your wrist monitor indicated a desire to bean an authority figure to death with his own tablet computer. Phew! Your brain's wuss subroutine just kicked in. The danger has passed.