Rich People Comic Strips - Page 22

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View 211 - 220 results for rich people comic strips. Discover the best "Rich People" comics from Dilbert.com.

The Science Of Astrology

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The Science Of Astrology - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Astrology, metaphysics, science, planning, sign, zodiac, pseudoscience

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Carol: I'll need to know your astrological sign before I put you on his schedule. In the old days, I just gave people the first available slot. It was chaos. Dilbert: So now you use the science of astrology? Carol: It's better than science. It's an art.

Simplify The Slide

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Simplify The Slide - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, insult, smart, dumb, powerpoint, guest artist, joel friday

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Boss: You need to simplify that slide. Dilbert: Did you understand it? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Then why do you think smart people will be confused? Boss: I can't tell if that was an insult. Dilbert: Ask a smart person.

Being The Best

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Being The Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, failure, guest artist, motivation, pep talk, success, john glynn

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CEO: The secret to success is finding one thing at which you can be the best. Dilbert: What are you the best at? CEO: I'm the best at motivating people. Dilbert: Yay! I can't wait for that to start.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags demands, bosses, unrealistic, frustration, outburst, catch-22, travel, air travel

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Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

Meetings Are Dense

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Meetings Are Dense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, time, perception, joke, insult, stupid, obliviousness

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Dilbert: According to Einstein, time flows more slowly in meetings than it does in empty space. That's because people are dense. Boss: Is that true? Alice: For you it is.

Retirement Plan

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Retirement Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags retirement, future, planning, plan, death, aging, work, savings, dying, medical

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Dilbert: I saw an article that says most people don't have any kind of retirement plan. Wally: I plan to live an unhealthy lifestyle and pass away in my cubicle, preferably on a Monday. Dilbert: That's a terrible plan. Wally: Better than average, according to you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags justice, trial, jury duty, laziness, lazy, juror, legal system

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Wally: I got called for jury duty. I'll probably be gone for weeks. I think I would be a good juror. As I understand the job, you sit in a chair doing nothing for hours. Boss: You're supposed to pay attention to the trial. Wally: That's what the other eleven people are for. There's a lot of redundancy in the system. Time to serve up some justice.

Boss Asks Wally To Talk To School

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Boss Asks Wally To Talk To School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gender, feminism, technology, Women, obliviousness, bad idea

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Boss: Wally, I need you to talk to my daughter's school about careers in stem fields. Wally: Why me? Boss: All the good people are busy. Wally: Fair enough. Boss: We want to fix the gender imbalance. Wally: I'll wear my good shirt.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags change, fear, power, executives, decision, threat, hypocrisy

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CEO: You must learn to embrace change. Dilbert: Can we change anything we want to change? CEO: No. You don't get to say what the changes are. I do that. Alice: Will that situation ever change? CEO: No. Alice: Why not? You said change is good. CEO: Change is good. For other people. So embrace it or I'll fire you. Employees: We love change!!!

Robot High Five

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Robot High Five - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags soul, patience, frustration, artificial intelligence, technology, emotions, anger

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Boss: Did you notice any changes after Alice gave you an artificial soul? Robot: I'm less tolerant of idiots asking me questions. Boss: High five. Robot: What is wrong with you people???