Rich People Comic Strips - Page 22
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1000 Results for Rich People
View 211 - 220 results for rich people comic strips. Discover the best "Rich People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 11,
2016
The Science Of Astrology
Tags Astrology, metaphysics, science, planning, sign, zodiac, pseudoscience
Transcript
Carol: I'll need to know your astrological sign before I put you on his schedule. In the old days, I just gave people the first available slot. It was chaos. Dilbert: So now you use the science of astrology? Carol: It's better than science. It's an art.
Saturday March 26,
2016
Simplify The Slide
Tags intelligence, insult, smart, dumb, powerpoint, guest artist, joel friday
Transcript
Boss: You need to simplify that slide. Dilbert: Did you understand it? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Then why do you think smart people will be confused? Boss: I can't tell if that was an insult. Dilbert: Ask a smart person.
Saturday March 05,
2016
Being The Best
Tags Advice, failure, guest artist, motivation, pep talk, success, john glynn
Transcript
CEO: The secret to success is finding one thing at which you can be the best. Dilbert: What are you the best at? CEO: I'm the best at motivating people. Dilbert: Yay! I can't wait for that to start.
Sunday February 07,
2016
Tags demands, bosses, unrealistic, frustration, outburst, catch-22, travel, air travel
Transcript
Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.
Tuesday January 26,
2016
Meetings Are Dense
Tags meetings, time, perception, joke, insult, stupid, obliviousness
Transcript
Dilbert: According to Einstein, time flows more slowly in meetings than it does in empty space. That's because people are dense. Boss: Is that true? Alice: For you it is.
Saturday January 23,
2016
Retirement Plan
Tags retirement, future, planning, plan, death, aging, work, savings, dying, medical
Transcript
Dilbert: I saw an article that says most people don't have any kind of retirement plan. Wally: I plan to live an unhealthy lifestyle and pass away in my cubicle, preferably on a Monday. Dilbert: That's a terrible plan. Wally: Better than average, according to you.
Sunday January 10,
2016
Tags justice, trial, jury duty, laziness, lazy, juror, legal system
Transcript
Wally: I got called for jury duty. I'll probably be gone for weeks. I think I would be a good juror. As I understand the job, you sit in a chair doing nothing for hours. Boss: You're supposed to pay attention to the trial. Wally: That's what the other eleven people are for. There's a lot of redundancy in the system. Time to serve up some justice.
Monday December 28,
2015
Boss Asks Wally To Talk To School
Tags gender, feminism, technology, Women, obliviousness, bad idea
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I need you to talk to my daughter's school about careers in stem fields. Wally: Why me? Boss: All the good people are busy. Wally: Fair enough. Boss: We want to fix the gender imbalance. Wally: I'll wear my good shirt.
Sunday December 13,
2015
Tags change, fear, power, executives, decision, threat, hypocrisy
Transcript
CEO: You must learn to embrace change. Dilbert: Can we change anything we want to change? CEO: No. You don't get to say what the changes are. I do that. Alice: Will that situation ever change? CEO: No. Alice: Why not? You said change is good. CEO: Change is good. For other people. So embrace it or I'll fire you. Employees: We love change!!!
Saturday December 12,
2015
Robot High Five
Tags soul, patience, frustration, artificial intelligence, technology, emotions, anger
Transcript
Boss: Did you notice any changes after Alice gave you an artificial soul? Robot: I'm less tolerant of idiots asking me questions. Boss: High five. Robot: What is wrong with you people???


