1997 Comic Strips - Page 22
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Character
Wednesday June 04,
1997
Tags Dogbert, professional, bearer of bad news, offer position, qualified, six billion, earth, resume
Transcript
Dogbert stands at a desk and types, "We can not offer you a position at this time but you are obviously qualified." Dogbert types, "Unfortunately, the other six billion people on earth are more qualified." Dogbert types, "We'll keep your resume on file." He crumples the resume into a ball and throws it over his shoulder.
Tuesday June 03,
1997
Tags bearer, bead news, tragic, find humor, husband, village people, coming back, relationships
Transcript
Dogbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm going into business as a professional bearer of bad news." Dogbert continues, "I'll try to find the humor that is inherent in every tragic situation." Dogbert stands on a woman's doorstep. The woman says, "I give up. What IS the difference between my husband and the seventies pop group 'Village People'?" Dogbert says, "They're coming back."
Monday June 02,
1997
Tags guiding prciples, network architecture, obvious ideas, techno jargon, unclear writing, suspenders, muddles thinking
Transcript
Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table with man who has a beard and is wearing suspenders. The man says, "I put together some guiding principles for our network architecture." Alice says, "I sure hope this isn't a bunch of obvious ideas disguised with techno-jargon and unclear writing." Dilbert whispers, "Let the games begin." Alice says to the man, "So tell me, do suspenders cause muddled thinking or is it the other way around?"
Sunday June 01,
1997
Tags boss, umbrella, doaked, clothes microwave, dry off, tricked alice, boss naked, breakroom
Transcript
The Boss tells Dilbert and Wally, "I forgot my umbrella. I'm soaked." His clothes are dripping wet. Dilbert says, "Why don't you toss your clothes in the microwave and dry them off?" The Boss asks, "Would that work?" Dilbert and Wally are silent. The Boss stuffs his clothes in the microwave. Dilbert says, "Sixty minutes ought to do it." Wally covers his eyes because the Boss is naked. They shut the door on the Boss. Dilbert says, "We'll guard the door to the break room." As they walk away, Wally says, "You know, ever since the downsizing began, I've felt much less company loyalty." Dilbert says, "Me too." Alice asks, "Why are you two so happy?" Wally says, "There are free goodies in the break room."
Saturday May 31,
1997
Tags conversation, boss approval, mixed messages, staus report
Transcript
The Boss stands behind Alice's desk and says, "Alice, I understand you had a conversation with my boss without my approval." The Boss continues, "We don't want to give mixed messages. It would be very bad if she got any mixed messages." Alice says, "I just gave her an honest status report." The Boss screams and yells, "Mixed messages!"
Friday May 30,
1997
Tags cloud of doom, transfer, new host body, starts tim down, Dogbert, director special projects, doom
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a stool and tells Dilbert, "The only way to get rid of your cloud of doom is to transfer it to a new host body." The cloud hovers over Dilbert's head. Dogbert says, "I will accomplish this with the help of your pointy-haired boss and a clueless co-worker named Tim." Dogbert straps Tim to a table and says, "We're secure. Begin transfer." The Boss looks at a document and says, "Tim, your new job will be director of special projects." The cloud moves toward Tim.
Thursday May 29,
1997
Tags cloud of doom, zaps everyone, once a minute, past behavior, indication of future, won't happen again
Transcript
Dilbert sits on a bench with a woman wearing charred clothing. Dilbert says, "I have a cloud of doom that zaps everyone near me once a minute." The cloud hovers over Dilbert. Dilbert continues, "I'm looking for a woman who deson't think that past behavior is an indication of the future." A bolt of lightning from the cloud strikes the woman. Dilbert continues, ". . . A woman with absolutely no sense of pattern recognition." The woman says, "Ouch. I'm glad that won't happen again."
Wednesday May 28,
1997
Tags cloud of doom, dangerous and sexy, lighting strikes, woman, flirting with dilbert
Transcript
Dilbert stands in a crowd of people at a party. The cloud of doom floats above his head. A woman says, "I notice you have a cloud of doom. I must admit it makes you seem dangerous and sexy." A bolt of lightning from the cloud strikes the woman. Dilbert says, "Sorry. That happens to everyone who gets near me." The woman replies, "No problem. I'm one of those women who never learn." Smoke rises from the woman and her clothes are charred.
Tuesday May 27,
1997
Tags cloud of doom, overlook, lighting strikes, meeting, business
Transcript
Asok, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "I need everyone's help on this project. I hope you can overlook the cloud of doom that hovers nearby." The cloud floats over their heads. A bolt of lightning from the cloud strikes Wally in the head. Wally falls over in his chair. Dilbert says, "Wow. It's lucky that wasn't someone we like." Asok looks frightened as the cloud heads toward him.
Monday May 26,
1997
Tags project, boss, information, being followed, cloud of doom
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I'd feel a lot more comfortable if you'd tell me everything you know about it." The Boss replies, "I've already told you more than I know." Dilbert walks away thinking, "I feel like I'm being followed." A cloud labeled "doom" follows Dilbert.

