Approved Questions Comic Strips - Page 22

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

257 Results for Approved Questions

View 211 - 220 results for approved questions comic strips. Discover the best "Approved Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avarice, compensation, executives, golden parachute, greed, money, wages

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO. Catbert: The board has approved a $100 million golden parachute if you quit now. Dogbert: $100 million?!!! How am I supposed to live on that? You insult me! Catbert: That's a lot of money for doing nothing. Dogbert: Bah! I spend more than that on soft cheese.

What Phase Of The Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What Phase Of The Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, insulting, project, questioning

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What phase is your project in? Dilbert: This is the phase where people ask stupid questions. Boss: How long does it last? Dilbert: It isn't looking good for today.

Takes Money To Make Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Takes Money To Make Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asking questions, faith, idiom, idioms, money, questioning, sayings

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It takes money to make money. Dilbert: Then... where did the first money come from? Boss: God? Dilbert: Don't let him hear doubt in your voice.

Ceo Understands Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Understands Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags buzzwords, deception, economists, economy, jargon, chief economist, quarter, exchange rate, derivatives, yen, monetary policy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new Chief Economist, Wally, will tell us what to expect in the coming quarter. Wally: The exchange rate on derivatives will trigger a bubble in monetary policy and deflate the yen. CEO: I totally understand that and have no questions.Boss: Wow! He's good.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, social, social interaction, honesty, politeness, overshare, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: So, tell me a little about yourself, and be totally honest. Dilbert: Totally honest? Okay... I like technology more than I like people. I don't believe in free will, soulmates, or following my passion. I think life is a brief, meaningless event in a random universe that doesn't care. I only associate with other people because I have biological and economical needs. I think all human actions are driven by selfishness. Woman: Uh... okay. Do you have any questions for me? Dilbert: Am I still being totally honest or should I act curious?

Not That Invested In Your Success

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Not That Invested In Your Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, communication, excuse, excuses

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I made no progress on your project because I was waiting to ask you some questions. Coworker: You could have emailed me. Or texted me. Or stopped by my desk. Wally: I"m not that invested in your success.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public speaking, presentation, question, questions, stupid, idiot, idiots, criticism, critic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to critique my presentation for the board. And don't hold back to spare my feelings. Dilbert: That probably won't be an issue. Alice: We got this. Boss: My product idea has three components. Alice: How do you know another company isn't secretly preparing to launch the same product? Boss: What kind of stupid question is that? Alice: It's the same question you asked me yesterday about my product idea. Boss: The board won't ask that. Alice: Don't be so sure. I hear they're idiots.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, first impression, culture, interview, job interview, deception, revenge, nice, niceness, nice people, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.

Teeth Brushing Accident

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Teeth Brushing Accident - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, criticism, presentation, stupid, mean

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Are there any questions about my presentation? Alice: Yes. Did you brush your teeth too aggressively and accidentally stab yourself in the brain? Coworker: Can you be more specific? Alice: Frontal lobes?

Asok Asks How Much Is Luck

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Asks How Much Is Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nepotism, luck, success, obliviousness, rich people, privilege

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: May I ask some questions about your journey to success? Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Asok: I am trying to ascertain what percentage of a person's success is pure luck. For example, who hired you for your first real job? Boss: My dad. But in my defense, I interview well.