Brain Explode Comic Strips - Page 22
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220 Results for Brain Explode
View 211 - 220 results for brain explode comic strips. Discover the best "Brain Explode" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 25,
2017
Threatening Wally
Tags #laziness, #excuse, #threat, #ultimatum
Transcript
Woman: Wally, did you finish the data scrub? Wally: No, a defect in my brain made me too lazy. Woman: Perhaps some sort of threat would get you going. Wally: It's worth a try. Woman: Do your work or else I'll tell everyone you're useless! Wally: That would save me a lot of time.
Thursday November 23,
2017
Doctor Will Operate
Tags #laziness, #happiness, #satisfaction, #aspirations, #psychology
Transcript
Doctor: The MRI shows unusual activity in the laziness region of your brain. Normally, I would recommend brain surgery, but your brain also registers an unusually high level of happiness. Wally: So... how do we handle this? Doctor: I'm going to operate on myself to make me more like you.
Saturday November 18,
2017
Let's Do The Meeting Later
Tags #fitbit, #health, #monitor, #wearable tech, #surveillance
Transcript
Dilbert: According to your employee health monitor, your lack of sleep last night is hampering your mental functions. Let's end the meeting and try again when your brain is working better. Man: I don't understand. Dilbert: That is consistent with the data.
Friday December 15,
2017
Doctor And Dopamine
Tags #addiction, #impulse control, #social media, #twitter, #facebook, #pharmaceuticals, #drugs, #gambling, #technology
Transcript
Doctor: The MRI shows that your brain has been hijacked by dopamine pirates. You are now under the full control of social media corporations, gambling casinos, and big pharma. Boss: Are you writing me a prescription? Doctor: No, I'm buying stock in those companies.
Friday December 22,
2017
Human Sensation Slipping Away
Tags #addiction, #humanity, #technology, #existentialism, #existential crisis, #awareness
Transcript
Dilbert: My sensation of being human is slipping away. My car practically drives itself, and the apps on my phone control my brain. I feel as if I need to do something stupid just to feel alive. Carol: Homeland security?
Monday April 23,
2018
Cryogenic Investment Firm
Tags #cryogenic, #intelligence, #rich people
Transcript
Narrator: Dogbert's Cryogenic Investment Firm. Dogbert: We'll freeze your brain for 200 years and then transplant it into a 3-D printed body. By then, your investments will be worth a fortune. Man: Is there any risk to my brain? Dogbert: You'll have an IQ of 45, but that doesn't matter when you're rich.
Tuesday March 12,
2019
Best In The Industry
Tags #headphones, #best, #persuading, #humor, #confused, #jokes
Transcript
Dilbert: The headphones we make are the best in the industry. Man: Our marketing campaign will focus on how they cure brain tumors and raise your IQ. Dilbert: They don't do any of that. Man: This is exactly why we don't let engineers do marketing.
Wednesday March 13,
2019
Headphone Claims
Tags #headphones, #false, #advertising, #help, #scientist, #boss, #Dilbert
Transcript
Dilbert: We're getting sued for claiming out headphones cure brain tumor and raise your IQ. Boss: We'll need to hire a scientist to back us on this. Dilbert: Where will we find a scientist willing to do that? Boss: Well, I wouldn't start with the rich ones.
Thursday July 11,
2019
Boss Surgery
Tags #boss, #brain, #employees, #insults, #surgery
Transcript
Asok: There's a new surgery that can turn employees into bosses. Boss: How can surgery turn an employee into a boss? Dr: You won't be needing this.
Monday August 03,
2020
Boss Using Phone
Tags #cell phone, #distraction, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #business, #disrespect, #hear, #face mask
Transcript
dilbert: are you listening to me? it looks as if you are using your phone. boss: i can do two things at once. dilbert: i'll bet you can't even hear me, you ridiculous moron. boss: uh-huh uh-huh go on. dilbert: you smell like old socks, and your brain is made of cheese.