Code Writing Puppet Comic Strips - Page 22

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272 Results for Code Writing Puppet

View 211 - 220 results for code writing puppet comic strips. Discover the best "Code Writing Puppet" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2012's comic on:

Tags #delusional sociopath, #executives, #gardener, #goat writing autobiograohy, #hallucinations, #hard work, #intuition, #magical thinking, #non-fiction, #vision, #regrets

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Dogbert: I finished ghostwriting your autobiography. CEO: "I was ridiculously lucky. The End." I was hoping you'd include something about all of my hard work. Dogbert: You didn't work any harder than your gardener, and he lives in his truck. CEO: What about my vision and intuition? Dogbert: My first draft had a chapter on your hallucinations and magical thinking. But I covered that ground with the title: "I'm A Delusional Sociopath And You Can Too." CEO: I'm starting to regret paying you in advance.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2008's comic on:

Tags #less air conditoning, #shorts allowed, #compensation, #upadte shorts wardrobe, #lederhosen

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The Boss says, "The company will be using less air conditioning to reduce expenses." The Boss says, "To compensate, we're loosening up on the dress code. Shorts will now be allowed." Wally says, "I'm not going to update my shorts wardrobe until I know this will last."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2009's comic on:

Tags #sitting, #complaining, #confessing, #excuses, #angry

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Wally says, "I couldn't do any work this week because my project doesn't have a charge code." Wally says, "The chargeback group won't answer my e-mails, and our ethics rules forbid me from using a false code." Wally says, "It's another failure of management, but I know you can do better next week."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2009's comic on:

Tags #writing, #newsletter, #reading, #ridicule, #Family, #annoyed

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Tina says, "I've been asked to chronicle your rise to management for the company newsletter." Tina says, "So far, I have the story of how your father was a barrel-shaped moron who married a blind woman." Tina says, "But it could have been the other way around. I'm mostly guessing." The boss says, "Lucky guess."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2009's comic on:

Tags #reading, #writing, #newsletter, #ridicule, #angry, #yelling

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Tina says, "For the company newsletter profile, I need to know how you rose from being an ignorant baboon to an overpaid speed bump." Tina says, "And make it not boring." The boss says, "I'm not an overpaid speed bump!" Tina says, "My fact-checker will need to see your pay stub."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2009's comic on:

Tags #coworker, #thinking, #sitting, #computer, #depressed, #technology

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Dilbert thinks, "As usual, my coworkers have filled in every space on my outlook calendar." Dilbert says, "Now I am only a puppet hurdling toward failure." Man says, "Hey there, dailure puppet!" Dilbert thinks, "I hoped it wasn't so obvious."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2009's comic on:

Tags #reading, #response, #customer service, #ridiculous, #ridicule, #stupidity

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Tina says, "Can you review my letter to this customer who complained?" Dilbert says, "'Tell the spiders living in your skull that we'll look into it.'" Tina says, "Good writing should never be predictable." Dilbert says, "Then it's perfect."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2009's comic on:

Tags #therapy, #ignoring, #lying down, #thinking, #complaining, #writing, #psychology

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Dilbert says, "I multitask during conference calls." Dilbert says, "Is it wrong to value my own productivity over the inane babbling of others?" Therapist thinks, "Buy bread?Pickles?Light bulbs?" Dilbert says, "Hello?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2009's comic on:

Tags #doctor, #medicine, #explaining, #Men, #growing, #wings, #side effect, #medical

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Man says, "I need you to take these pills because the pharmaceutical rep is smoking hot." Man says, "It might have some side effects, but the 'Guy code' says you have to be my wingman if I ask." Dilbert says, "Apparently he subscribes to a literal interpretation of the guy code."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2009's comic on:

Tags #form, #signature, #anger, #frustration, #questions

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woman says, "You need to sign the corporate code of conduct." Wally says, "Wow! You're totally hot." woman says, "Um?That's inappropriate, and you need to sign the code of conduct." Wally says, "I don't have a pen, can you take it back to your cubicle and sign it for me?" woman says, "No. And I think you're lying about not having a pen. But maybe we can find one for you." Wally says, "See if Dilbert is in his cubicle, I usually take his stuff and blame the cleaners." woman says, "Just sign the #%!*! code of conduct or I will crush your stupid, bald head!" Wally says, "Do I need to read it?" Woman says, "No. Just say you did."