Company Phone Comic Strips - Page 22

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View 211 - 220 results for company phone comic strips. Discover the best "Company Phone" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2001's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #contrators, #company air, #employees only, #own air supply, #using light

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Headline: Catbert: Evil HR Director. Catbert leans over a Carl's cubicle wall. Catbert says, "Contractors are not allowed to breath company air, Carl." Catbert continues, "This air is for employees only. You need to supply your own air." Carl, Dilbert, and Wally are sitting at a conference table. Carl is wearing an oxygen tank and mumbles, "Mmb, Bmf, Rmn, Hmr!" Dilbert turns to Wally and asks, "Does anyone understand Carl?" Wally replies, "Hey! He's using our light!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #air, #company resources, #contractor, #demands, #gravity, #hover, #using earth, #cheap, #resources

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The Boss says to Carl, "Carl, you're only a contractor. You have to stop using company resources." Carl mumbles angrily, "Mmn, Nph, Hbm, Mrm!" The Boss replies, "Yes, I know you bring your own air. But you still use our gravity." Carl is taken aback. He mumbles, "Fbm, Gmp, Rkr!" The Boss responds, "If it's not too much to ask, could you hover?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2001's comic on:


Tags #stock market expert, #buy stock, #sell house, #track record, #one week chart, #buy buy

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Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert says in front of the camera, "...Everyone should buy stock in that company. Sell your house if necessary." A man replies into the camera, "Should we worry that the P/E is 900, your track record is terrible and you only recommend stocks you own?" The Boss is sitting in his office watching TV. Dogbert's voice is heard through the TV, "Well, Ron, as you can see from the one-week chart, this stock only goes up." The Boss says into the phone, "Buy! Buy!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dilbert sales guy, #Card, #no correct info, #new ones, #costs money, #clout, #company, #buy something, #business

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Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert hands a customer his card and says, "Here's my card. None of this information is correct." The customer asks, "Why don't you get new ones?" Dilbert responds, "That costs money." The customer adds, "You must have a lot of clout in your company." Dilbert responds, "Shut up and buy something."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2002's comic on:


Tags #water company, #pipe water, #toothpaste, #turn faucet, #pudding, #meteor

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "If the water company can pipe water to my house, why can't the toothpaste company do the same?" The Boss continues, "The toothpaste factory should have a pipe to every home so you can turn a faucet..." The Boss continues, "And don't even get me started about pudding." Dilbert hits his fists together and thinks, "Meteor, meteor, meteor, meteor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2002's comic on:


Tags #senior vice presdient, #cyrus, #virus, #infection, #managers, #old cronmies, #pointy haired pete

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "I'd like you to meet our new Senior Vice President, Cyrus The Virus." The Boss continues, "Like an infection, he will soon attack the managers in this company and replace us with his old cronies." The new Senior Vice President says into his cell phone, "Tell pointy-haired Pete to get over here right away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #one ear, #email, #instant message, #pager, #messages, #boss comes in, #work stories, #technology

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Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dilbert says, "I had my cell phone at one ear and my regular phone at the other." Dilbert continues, "I'm reading e-mail, sending instant messages, my pager is vibrating, and my boss comes in!" Dogbert says, "You know what makes your work stories fascinating?" Dilbert asks. "What?" Dogbert continues, "Nothing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2002's comic on:


Tags #budget, #spend it, #can't tell budget, #whats company strategy

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A senior manager says to The Boss, "I can't tell you how much your budget is, because if I did, you'd try to spend all of it." The Boss asks, "Can you tell me when I'm over budget?" The senior manager replies, "No, because then you'd know what the budget is." The Boss asks, "Can you tell me what our company strategy is?" The senior manger replies, "Sure. It's... Ha ha ha! Just kidding."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2002's comic on:


Tags #worthless, #incompetent bug, #two phone calls and a meeting

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Dilbert says to The Boss, "I need your help yelling at a guy to make him do his job." The Boss approaches the coworker from behind and yells, "You worthless, incompetent bug!!! I'll have your head!!!" The Boss asks the coworker, "How much work did that buy?" The coworker responds, "Two phone calls and a meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #study culture, #in company, #detailed recommendations, #docile outcast, #drinks brown water, #staple tracking device

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Dogbert is standing on The Boss' desk wearing a hat, a backpack, and holding a stick. Dogbert says, "I will study the culture in your company and make detailed recommendations." Dogbert observes Wally and records, "The one I call Wally is a docile outcast who eats bananas and drinks brown water." Dogbert asks Wally, "Do you mind if I staple this tracking device to your ear?" Wally responds, "Not really."