Days Of Our Lives Comic Strips - Page 22

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223 Results for Days Of Our Lives

View 211 - 220 results for days of our lives comic strips. Discover the best "Days Of Our Lives" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Throws Penalty Flag

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Dogbert Throws Penalty Flag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #the boss, #asok, #Wally, #Dilbert, #accomplish, #addicted, #apps, #fortnite, #slept, #losers, #podcast

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Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because I'm addicted to apps on my phone. I haven't slept in three days because of my "Fortnite" habit. The Boss: What about the rest of you losers? Asok: Shhh. I got a one-ear podcast going here.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #customer, #meeting, #engineers, #years, #disasters, #worry, #data, #centers, #blockchain

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Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.

Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient

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Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #earth, #mistake, #plants, #technology, #inventions, #atmosphere

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Dilbert: I've developed a super-efficient device that scrubs CO2 out of the air. But the user has to remember to turn it off after a few days or else it will remove too much CO2 and destroy all life on Earth. Man: Hey, who left this thing unplugged?

Hallucinations At Meetings

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Hallucinations At Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #server, #hallucinate, #network

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in conference room. dilbert: i recommend we upgrade one of our servers over the weekend. office workers: so, just to be clear, you want to replace our entire network in two days? dilbert: um...no. i want to replace one defective server. office worker: we can't replace our entire network in two days! that is ridiculous! dilbert: i don't know what is happening right now. dilbert: it's as if they things i say have no impact on what you hallucinate you are hearing. office worker: you think you can replace an entire network in two days, and you think i'm the one who is hallucinating? dilbert: i don't know what to do right now. office worker: your incompetence is confirmed.

Asok Lives In The Office

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Asok Lives In The Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #cost, #criticism, #house, #office, #office workers, #expectations

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Boss: All of you should be more like Asok. He is in the office before I arrive and still here when I go home. Asok: That is because housing costs are so high that I live here in the office and sleep in a bathroom stall. Boss: That still leaves a lot of stalls for the rest of you.

Wally Uses Deep Fake

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Wally Uses Deep Fake - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #video, #conference, #call, #technology, #elbonian, #affordable

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dilbert: i liked what you said on the video conference call yesterday. i've never seen you so engaged and helpful. wally: that wasn't me. that was "deep fake wally." i created him to do all of my video calls. and i hired an elbonian to do all my coding jobs for a very affordable price. wally: these days. i only come to the office for the free coffee. dilbert: and the camaraderie? wally: sure.

Upgrade Schedule

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Upgrade Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #vendor, #network, #upgrade, #allocating, #technology

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vendor: we should be able to finish the network upgrade in about three months. dilbert: when you bid for the job. you said it would take thirty days. vendor: if we're allocating blame. i'm not the one who was dumb enough to believe me.

Working On Vacation

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Working On Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work, #vacation, #scold, #enjoy, #behind, #train, #broken

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dilbert: do you mind if i come to work on my vacation days? i hate being scolded for being behind in my work more that i enjoy taking vacations. boss: it seems i have trained you well. dilbert: no, i'm just broken.

Dilbert Cares Not For Safety

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Dilbert Cares Not For Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: ...And we can get that all installed in thirty days. Man: Why do you not care about safety? Dilbert: Literally everyone cares about safety. Man: Then why didn't you mention it? DIlbert: Blah, blah, safety. Happy? "Continued..."

Dilbert Wants To Write Book

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Dilbert Wants To Write Book - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #book, #boring, #colon, #elephant, #exercise, #interesting, #people, #sarcasm, #speaking, #technology, #write

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dilbert and dogbert wearing face masks on a walk. dilbert: i'm thinking about writing a book. dogbert: can boring people write interesting books? dilbert: maybe i write better than i speak. dogbert: sure, and maybe an elephant lives in my colon.