Due Date Comic Strips - Page 22
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227 Results for Due Date
View 211 - 220 results for due date comic strips. Discover the best "Due Date" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday January 02,
2015
Dilbert Meets The Mom
Tags #dating, #low standards, #meeting people, #parents, #mother, #efficiency, #ebola, #shake hands, #Family, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: Mom, this my date, Dilbert. He only wears tube clothes. Dilbert: For the efficiency. Whoa! Before I touch that paw, have you been to any Ebola hot spots lately? Woman: He has a job. Dilbert: My time has come!
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Monday January 05,
2015
Dating Is A B Testing
Tags #analysis, #comparison, #dating, #first date, #judging, #a-b testing, #click with, #analytics, #measuring, #too many questions, #relationships, #science
Transcript
Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most.Woman: What exactly are you measuring? Dilbert: Asks too many questions.
Sunday May 31,
2015
Tags #flirting, #dating, #negotiation, #rebuff, #rejection, #social media, #relationships, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Would you like to make out? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I take you on a date? Woman: No. Dilbert: Lunch? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I have your number so I can text you? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I be your Facebook friend? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I follow you on Twitter? Woman: Fine. But no retweeting. Dilbert: Can I favorite your tweets? Woman: Only if you wear a glove on your mouse hand.
Saturday January 16,
2016
Unexpected Things Happen
Sunday February 07,
2016
Tags #demands, #bosses, #unrealistic, #frustration, #outburst, #catch-22, #travel, #air travel
Transcript
Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.
Thursday February 18,
2016
Dilbert Thinks He Is Ready To Babysit
Tags #babysitting, #babysitter, #inexperience, #children, #parents, #cell phone, #communication, #Family, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: What's your mobile number in case I need to reach you while I"m babysitting your kids tonight? Carol: My phone is already turned off so the kids don't ruin my date night by texting every ten minutes. Dilbert: I can't tell if I'm prepared for tonight. Wally: Did you get their address?
Friday February 19,
2016
Catbert Will Not Help Children
Tags #reasoning, #judgment, #company policy, #rules, #regulations, #rigid, #stringent, #inflexible
Transcript
Dilbert: Can you give me Carol's home address? I agreed to watch her kids and she turned off her phone for her date night. Catbert: It is against company policy for me to use my good judgment to save children. Dilbert: Are you sure it says that? Catbert: Yes. I wrote it myself.
Monday February 22,
2016
Carol Berates Dilbert For Not Babysitting
Tags #babysitter, #children, #supervision, #refugees, #Family
Transcript
Carol: You said you would watch my kids last night but you never showed up! Dilbert: You didn't give me your address, and you turned off your cellphone for your date night. I'm sure it was fine. Carol: An Elbonian family is living in my cupboard!!!
Wednesday April 27,
2016
Miracle Of Consciousness
Tags #jaded, #blase, #unimpressed, #dating, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: Do you ever marvel at the miracle of consciousness? Dilbert: No. People are just fish plus time. Woman: Does anything amaze you? Dilbert: This is my longest date ever! 49 minutes!