Hired On Spot Comic Strips - Page 22

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251 Results for Hired On Spot

View 211 - 220 results for hired on spot comic strips. Discover the best "Hired On Spot" comics from Dilbert.com.

Moth Man Visits Alice

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Moth Man Visits Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, annoyance, mothman, anger, frustration, workload

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Asok: The storytelling mothman you hired is keeping us from doing our work! He's in Alice's cubicle right now. Mothman: Gaaaa!!!! Asok: Sounds like he flew too close to the flame. Boss: Problem solved.

Elbonian Interference With Ads

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Elbonian Interference With Ads - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hacker, troll, social media, damage, marketing, bot, nonsense, business, technology

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Dilbert: Our competitors hired an Elbonian troll farm to ruin our brand on social media. Their most viral ad against us so far says, "How ice cream they bicycle art!" Boss: How many views did it get? Dilbert: Seven, including this one.

Boring And Needy Children

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Boring And Needy Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags parents, mother, interview, children, annoyance, work-life balance, Family

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Boss: Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Woman: No, they're boring and needy. They can't even hold a conversation. If I'm being honest, I prefer working long hours so I see less of them. Boss: Perfect. You're hired. Woman: I mean, I love them, but I don't like them.

Motivational Speaker

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Motivational Speaker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, motivational speaker, inspiration, backfire

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Alice: The motivational speaker you hired was great!!! We all decided to quit out jobs and become motivational speakers. Boss: He was supposed to make you work harder here. Alice: You wanted him to motivate us to be dumb?

Negotiating Expert

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Negotiating Expert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consultant, negotiation, training, irony, obliviousness, business

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Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to negotiate. Normally, he charges triple the market rate, but I talked him down to double. Wally: Where is he? Boss: He said he's teaching us what happens when there's no performance clause in a contract.

Coffee Machine Tries To Escape

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Coffee Machine Tries To Escape - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, coffee machine, artificial intelligence, robots, engineering, scared

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Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee machine. It hired an engineering firm to build it a robot body so it can escape. The Boss: Do what you need to do, but don't scare our other robots. Dilbert: I plan to kill it and drink its head.

Jerry The Contract Employee

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Jerry The Contract Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags threat, Dilbert, the boss, jerry, contract, zebra, agile

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The Boss: This is Jerry the contract employee. I hired him to work on project zebra. Dilbert: We haven't even defined the project. How did you know what skills we needed? The Boss: Why are you so threatened by jerry? Jerry: He's not very agile.

New Statue In The Lobby

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New Statue In The Lobby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, alice, the boss, criminal, tech support, darned, good, report

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The Boss: Where's the career criminal I hired to do tech support? He was last seen talking to you. Alice: Rumor has it that someone murdered him, covered him in with-out and tried to pass him off as a statue in the lobby. Dilbert: I would report this if it did't look so darned good here.

Hiring A Millennial

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Hiring A Millennial - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, office workers, sarcasm, smartphone, generation, millennial

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Boss: I hired a millennial who was raised by smartphones. He won't make eye contact, and we don't expect him to ever mate. Dilbert: Can he speak? Boss: Yes, but only with sarcasm.

Press Release

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Press Release - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, boss, unethical, scientists, press, question, overkill

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Dilbert: The unethical scientist we hired to support our product claims started today. Boss: Write a press release that says whatever we want him to say and put his name on it. Dilbert: Should we show it to him? Boss: That feels like overkill.