Human Resources Comic Strips - Page 22

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

379 Results for Human Resources

View 211 - 220 results for human resources comic strips. Discover the best "Human Resources" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hidden camera, capture theief, raining cubicles, human form, grainy picture

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert slips a tape into a VCR as the boss watches. Dilbert says, "I used a hidden camera to capture the thief who's been raiding our cubicles." The picture on the TV screen is the boss. The boss says, "The picture is grainy but I can almost make out a human form... or maybe a cat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags enable intergration, okay to do nothing?, redesign processes, resources and tools, wally and boss

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss meets with Wally and Dilbert at a conference table. The boss says, "We'll redesign our processes to enable enterprise intergration of knowledge resources and tools." Wally raises his hand and says, "Question: Is it okay if I do nothing?" The boss says, "No." Wally says, "Well, excuse me for making a suggestion."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company resources, resume, headhunter, perfect crime, got mail

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice types at her computer and thinks, "heh-heh.. I'm usig compnay resources to e-mail my resume to a headhunter Alice thinks, "It's the perfect crime." The boss sits at his computer. The boss says, "I've got mail!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags twenty percent over budget, two months late, bungledm, allocation resources, bungled

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss reads a report, and says to Dilbert, "Your project is twenty percent over budget and two months late." Dilbert says, "That's because you bungled the allocation of resources." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Bosses hate the word 'bungled'."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags show plan, budget, resources, weakness

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk and Dilbert says, "I'm sure your boss will increase the budget if you show him my plan." The Boss throws up his arms and says, "I just asked him for something else. I can't keep asking him for resources!" Dilbert asks, "So...you think that doing your job is a sign of weakness?" The Boss points at Dilbert and says, "Look what it did to you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clone of boss, procedure failure, knick knack, small creature, part horse, part human, tiney, antennas

View Transcript

Transcript

A tiny centaur is standing on a table. He says to Dilbert, "I'm a clone of your boss?" Dilbert responds, "The procedure didn't exactly work. So you're not so much a human being as you are a..." Centaur, "God?" Dilbert responds, "Knickknack."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags air, company resources, contractor, demands, gravity, hover, using earth, cheap, resources

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Carl, "Carl, you're only a contractor. You have to stop using company resources." Carl mumbles angrily, "Mmn, Nph, Hbm, Mrm!" The Boss replies, "Yes, I know you bring your own air. But you still use our gravity." Carl is taken aback. He mumbles, "Fbm, Gmp, Rkr!" The Boss responds, "If it's not too much to ask, could you hover?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting called, discuss issues, assign tasks, waste of time, meetings, become lifeform, reproducing human josts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks into a meeting and asks, "Who called this meeting?" The male coworker replies, "We thought you did." The coworker continues, "I think we should discuss issues and assign tasks so it's not a complete waste of time." Dilbert responds, "Maybe meetings have become a lifeform capable of calling themselves and thus reproducing via human hosts." The male coworker turns to the female coworker and says, "Good issue." She replies, "Wow!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags demoted, spread rumors, new boss, fired, clueless human, doesn't work, denial

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Demoted. The Boss says to Wally, "I plan to spread rumors about our new boss until I'm fired." The Boss continues, "I'll tell everyone that he's the most clueless human that ever lived. Hee hee!" Wally responds, "Believe me, that doesn't work." The Boss says, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags falling for robot, human, robo boss, robot, shallow compliments, soulless machine

View Transcript

Transcript

Roboboss and Alice are at dinner. Alice says, "Roboboss, can this relationship work? After all, I'm a human.." Alice continues, "And you're a soulless machine designed to give shallow compliments to employees." Roboboss says, "You're giving 110%." Alice replies, "Stop.. don't make me love you."