New Product Comic Strips - Page 22

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View 211 - 220 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags another company benefit, new policy forbids, permit, season, use of weapons, violence, workplace

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The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new policy forbids the use of weapons or any violence in the workplace." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Ummm . . . What was the policy before this?" The Boss responds, "I'm not sure . . . Maybe if you had a permit and it was in season." Wally says, "There goes another company benefit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new company logo, brown ring, quality

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The Boss, Alice, Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The Dogbert Consulting Company will help us design a new company logo." Dogbert drinks a cup of coffee. The Boss asks, "When will you start?" Dogbert turns the empty coffee mug upside down on a piece of paper and says, "I just finished. I call it the brown ring of quality."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new logo, sloppy, unimaginative, money to consultants, little return, too good, opinions

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Dogbert, the Boss, Alice and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Dogbert stands on the table, holds up a piece of paper and says, "Your new logo might look like a simple coffee stain, but what does the image say about you?" Dilbert asks, "We're sloppy and unimaginative?" Alice asks, "We give lots of money to consultants and get little in return?" Dogbert looks at the logo and says, "Wow. This is almost TOO good." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Ooh ooh! How about 'Our opinions don't matter?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new objectoves, achievable, objectives approved, measurable

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Alice hands the Boss a document and says, "Here's a draft of my new objectives. I tried to make them achievable." The Boss reads, "No matter how stupid my co-workers are, I will not punch a hole in anyone's torso, rip out a vital organ and keep it in my cubicle as a warning to others." Outside the Boss's office, Wally says to Dilbert, "I hope she gets those objectives approved." Inside the office, Alice yells, "Yes! It's measurable!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags product mock up, last week, don't make prodcut, competitors product

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A man stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "Thanks for making that product mock-up last week. The customer liked it so much that he ordered a thousand!" Dilbert says, "That was a MOCK-UP! We don't even make that product yet. It would take three years to make one." The man says, "Just give me a thousand mock-ups. The first one was terrific!" Dilbert replies, "The mock-up was our competitor's product with duct tape over the logo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags small fonts, save disk space, semi colons, colons, was fun, new ideas, next staff meeting

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Dilbert listens as Asok says to the Boss, "My idea is that everyone should be required to use small fonts. That way we'll save disk space." Asok continues, "And I've noticed that many people use entire colons in situations where a semicolon would do just fine." As they walk away, Asok says to Dilbert, "You're right, that was fun." Dilbert replies, "The real fun is when he describes his new ideas at the next staff meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new data encryption, phb, pointy haired boss, converts email, manager babble, carry pepper spray, supermodel

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Dilbert sits at his desk and tells Dogbert, "I invented a new data encryption program called P.H.B. which stands for Pointy-Haired Boss." Dilbert explains, "It converts e-mail into manager babble. Nobody can intercept and decode my private messages without the key." Dogbert asks, "Who would want to read YOUR messages?" Dilbert says, "Somebody MIGHT want to read my messages. It could happen!" Dogbert says, "And maybe you should carry pepper spray in case supermodels try to kiss you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags administrative task, beg for asisiatnace, network administrator, new password, upgrading network, forgotten password

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Asok says to Dogbert, "I have forgotten my password. I humbly beg for assistance." Dogbert replies angrily, "I have no time for boring administrative tasks, you fool! I'm busy upgrading the network!" Asok says, "You could have give me a new password in the time it took to belittle me." Dogbert replies, "Yes, but which option would give me job satisfaction?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags battery back up, product, no electricity

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The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "I've got an idea. Let's add a battery backup to our product." Dilbert thinks, "One . . . Two . . . Three . . ." The Boss says, "I've got an idea. Why don't we add a battery backup to our product?" Dilbert replies, "Because our product doesn't use electricity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags iso 9000 certified, product looks good, internal porcess, well documented, documented porcess, ace, double price

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The Boss and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "Your product looks good, but you can't be our supplier unless your company is ISO 9000 certified." The Boss asks, "So . . . You don't care how bad our internal processes are, as long as they're well-documented and used consistently?" The man replies, "That's right." The Boss says, "Our documented process says I must now laugh in your face and double our price."