Questions Comic Strips - Page 22
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Character
221 Results for Questions
View 211 - 220 results for questions comic strips. Discover the best "Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday December 06,
2018
Jargon
Tags confusion, employees, irritation, language, meetings, sarcasm
Transcript
Man: This was a great meeting. Are there any questions? Dilbert: I didn't understand any of the jargon you used for the past hour, so I have no idea what this meeting was about. Man: Why didn't you say something sooner? Dilbert: That's a good strategy for people who have hope.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday January 10,
2019
Ai With Bad Analogies
Tags engineering, questions, robot, technology, humans, rational
Transcript
Dilbert: My breakthrough in A.I. came when I stopped trying to duplicate human rational thought. Dogbert: You can't copy what doesn't exist. Dilbert: Right. So instead I coded it to spout analogies to sound human. Asok: Should I ask my boss for a raise? Robot: Trees don't ask for raises, so why should you?
Sunday April 14,
2019
Wally Plans His Retirement
Tags business, office, office workers, retirement, profit
Transcript
wally: the product i'm developing will be unprofitable for the first none years, but revenue will surge in the tenth. the boss: didn't you tell me you plan to retire in nine years? wally: maybe. the boss: you will be happily retired before we find out if profits really do surge in year ten. the boss: that makes everything you say sound suspicious. wally: numbers don't lie. the boss: who came up with the numbers? wally: that's all the time we have for questions.
Thursday August 08,
2019
Poor Communication Skills
Tags communication, employees, office, office workers, questions, projects
Transcript
Man: Would you like to be on my project team? Dilbert: Hard pass. Your communication skills are so poor that the project is doomed to failure. Man: I meant to say your boss already assigned you to my project. Dilbert: We're off to a good start.
Sunday November 03,
2019
Goofy Words
Tags business, managers & supervisors, proposal, understand, clarification, end, misunderstand
Transcript
dilbert: and that's my blockchain proposal. any questions? boss: there was a part i didn't understand. dilbert: which part? boss: the words dilbert: all of them? boss: only the goofy ones. such as token, smart contract, certainty as a service, utxo blockchains, node, ledger, and daps. dilbert: so... you didn't understand anything i said for the past hour? boss: don't try to turn this into my fault dilbert: you could have asked me to clarify boss: i also wanted it to end.
Sunday February 16,
2020
Finding Qualified Engineers
Tags business, interview, questions, job market, engineers, baker, mortuary, assistant
Transcript
interview boss: it's hard to find qualified engineers in this job market, so i'm casting a wider net. it says here you have experience as a mortuary assistant and baker. that's not exactly like being an engineer, but i want to stay open-minded. tell me about a time you had to deal with failure and what you did about it. interviewee: well, one time i totally botched an embalming. so i used a chainsaw to reduce the corpse to flushable parts. i told the family he came back to life and ran away. boss: okay. and why did you become a baker? interviewee: so i cold eat my mistakes.
Thursday March 05,
2020
Wally Prefers Systems
Tags managers & supervisors, business, office workers, goals, question, answer, system, year
Transcript
dilbert: what are your goals for the year? wally: i prefer systems over goals. dilbert: okay, what are your systems? wally: none of them involve answering questions.
Tuesday August 04,
2020
Dilbert Can Answer Questons
Tags answer, business, delegate, face mask, managers & supervisors, meeting, project, question, sarcasm, awkward
Transcript
boss: dilbert can answer any of your questions, but i have another meeting. dilbert: not really. i have no involvement in the project. he just told me to follow him to this room. co-worker: well, this is awkward. dilbert: how about i go to the restroom and never come back?
Saturday August 08,
2020
Any Questions
Tags business, company, conclusion, end, face masks, managers & supervisors, meeting, question, vision
Transcript
boss: okay, that's all for today unless anyone has a question. alice, boss & dilbert thinking: please let it end. please let it end. please let it end. co-worker: what's the company vision? unison: GAAA!!!
Tuesday September 08,
2020
Management Got Virus
Tags business, health, management, coronavirus, quarantined, work, wisdom, idiot, theme, face mask, sarcasm
Transcript
catbert: the entire management team has contracted coronavirus and is quarantined. they asked me to tell you to stop working, because without their wisdom, you idiots will ruin everything. any questions? dilbert: no, i think you covered the main themes.

