Sitting Comic Strips - Page 22

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457 Results for Sitting

View 211 - 220 results for sitting comic strips. Discover the best "Sitting" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags doomed projects, fake mergencies, more efficient, unnecessary meetings, to do list

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Sitting at his computer, Dilbert thinks to himself "This to-do list will make me more efficient." Dilbert continues thinking to himself, "I have three fake emergencies, two doomed projects, four unnecessary meetings..." At home, Dilbert says to Dogbert "I figured out why you never ask me how my day day went." Dogbert replies, shooing Dilbert away with one hand, "Off you go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bags of crud, highly valued, stock options, worth a fortune, worthless, shut up

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Wally approaches the Boss sitting at his desk reading the paper. Wally says, "My stock options are worth a fortune now, you miserable bag of crud!" The Boss types something in his computer and says, "Oh, look, they're back down to worthless." Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit eating lunch. Dilbert says, "Try telling him that bags of crud are highly valued in some societies." Wally says, "Shut up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags architectural materpiece, experience, no storage espace, new office building, architectectural masterpiece

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The boss is standing beside an easel that has a picture of a building on it. The boss, pointing to the picture says, "Our new office building will be an architectural masterpiece!" Asok the Intern, Dilbert, and Wally are sitting at a table. Asok holds his head and says, "The voices in my head are shouting 'No storage space! No storage space!'" Asok shouts, "What is happening to me?" Dilbert says, "It's called experience."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer type, feeble minded people, reorganize, second guess, dogbert consults

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Dogbert is sitting at a conference table beside the boss, across from Dilbert and Wally. Dogbert says, "You need to reorganize by customer type." Gesturing toward the boss, Dogbert continues, "One division would focus on selling to feeble-minded people." The boss says, "Are you gesturing at me because I would work in that division?" Dogbert says, "What's your second guess?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags beatings, coworkers, improve moral, performance review, team player, beatings deserved

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Alice is sitting in front of the bosses desk. The boss says, "Lastly, what have you done to improve the morale of your co-workers?" Alice says, "I didn't give them the beatings they so richly deserved." The boss, writing, says, "I'll shorten that to 'team player'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags planning weddings, temporary zombie division, raising babies, divorcing, took dog, good places booked

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The boss approaches a worker who is sitting in front of her computer, arms outstretched and eyes fixed. The boss says, "Helen, I'm transferring you to the temporary zombie division." Pushing Helen along, the boss says, "You will be with other people who are planning weddings, raising babies and divorcing." Helen is amid other zombie like workers, all with outstretched arms. A worker says, "She took my dog." Helen says, "All the good places are booked."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags halluciantaing, Dilbert, punish, ambiguous, untraceable, die dilbert

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The boss is sitting at his desk thinking, "Did Dilbert do something terrible or am I hallucinating?" The boss continues to think, "I'd better play it safe and punish him in ways that are ambiguous and untraceable." A woman stands behind Dilbert and says, "I had to change your network password to 'Die-Dilbert-Die' and I can't say why."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dysfunctional family, worthless, seventy hours, weekly, more like you, screams at worker

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The boss is sitting across from a terrified looking person. The boss says, "I understand that you were raised in a dysfunctional family." The man says, "Yes" The boss yells, "You're gonna work seventy hours a week or you're worthless!!" The man says, "You love me." The boss says, "Are there any more like you at home?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags you're fired, used internet, personal reasons, groceries, more time working, evil but true

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Catbert, sitting at his desk, says to an employee, "Our records show that you used the internet for personal reasons. You're fired." The employee says, "Please, I merely ordered groceries online so that I might have more time for working." Catbert says, "My motto is, you can't spell 'who cares?' without H.R." The employee says, "It's evil, but it's true."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet, personal rasons, whole world, knowledge, entertainmemt, finger tips, ice cream, so hungry, eating in cubicle, technology

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Dilbert, sitting at his computer, thinks, "I..must..resist..using..the internet for personal reasons." Dilbert thinks, "Gaa! There's a whole world of knowledge and entertainment at my fingertips...teasing me!" Catbert dangles an ice-cream cone from a pole in front of Dilbert. Dilbert says, "Ice Cream! I'm so hungry!" Catbert says, "No eating in your cubicle."