Ten Comic Strips - Page 22
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222 Results for Ten
View 211 - 220 results for ten comic strips. Discover the best "Ten" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 17,
2019
Tags #failure, #inventions, #office workers, #power, #science, #success
Transcript
Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years. Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be. Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it? Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far. Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response. Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment. Dilbert: And there it is.
Sunday March 24,
2019
Tags #argument, #debates, #frustration, #office workers, #evidence
Transcript
Man: ...And that's what I think about the issue. Dilbert: Here's a Youtube video proving that everything you believe is wrong. Notice this isn't just an opinion. It is a video of the entire event you just claimed did not happen. I'm sending you a link to ten media stories debunking your version of events. Having now proved how wrong you are. Would you like to retract everything you said about it? Man: Why can't you admit when you are wrong? Dilbert: Because I'm not wrong!!!
Sunday April 14,
2019
Wally Plans His Retirement
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #retirement, #profit
Transcript
wally: the product i'm developing will be unprofitable for the first none years, but revenue will surge in the tenth. the boss: didn't you tell me you plan to retire in nine years? wally: maybe. the boss: you will be happily retired before we find out if profits really do surge in year ten. the boss: that makes everything you say sound suspicious. wally: numbers don't lie. the boss: who came up with the numbers? wally: that's all the time we have for questions.
Sunday August 04,
2019
Circular Debating
Tags #argument, #debates, #frustration, #moon, #conspiracy
Transcript
Wally: Thanks to my new circular debating technique. I haven't lost a debate in weeks. Watch this. The moon landing was a hoax. Man: No, it wasn't. Wally: The flag was moving in the wind. Man: I'll send you a link debunking the flag thing. Wally: Okay, but how do you explain the multiple light sources? Man: Here's another link debunking that claim. Fifteen minutes later Man: I have now debunked all ten of your ridiculous claims will you agree the moon landing was real? Wally: How do you explain the flag moving? Man: Gaaaa!!! I give up!! You win!!!
Tuesday February 18,
2020
Wally Not Working
Tags #business, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #technology, #work ethic, #micro-managing
Transcript
boss: you don't seem to be working. wally: i don't want to start something new because it's almost the end of my work day. boss: it's ten o'clock in the morning. wally: and here comes the micro-managing.
Sunday April 05,
2020
No Time Before Next Meeting
Tags #boss, #business, #care, #co-workers, #hate, #job, #lesson, #meeting, #nonesence, #procrastinate, #reality, #report, #stupid, #technical, #technology, #time
Transcript
dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.
Friday March 06,
2020
Judging By Looks
Tags #business, #interview, #manager, #judge, #offensive, #social media, #nonesense
Transcript
boss: i'd like to offer you a job, but ten years ago you said something offensive on social media. interviewee: i'm not the same person i was ten years ago. you are judging me by the actions of someone who literally no longer exists. boss: i get your point, but if i go back to the old way of judging people by their looks, we still end up in the same place.
Tuesday May 12,
2020
Sciencesplainer New
Tags #sarcasm, #business, #sciencesplainer, #meetings, #interrupt, #condescending, #science
Transcript
boss in meeting wearing face mask: i hired a sciencesplainer for our meetings. he'll interrupt us every ten minutes to explain, in a condescending way, how science works. dilbert wearing face mask: why do we need that? boss: it's just something we do.
Friday May 22,
2020
Virus Hellscape
Tags #boss, #diseases, #office workers, #virus, #pandemic
Transcript
Boss: Do you have ten munutes to come talk to me about the project timeline. Dilbert: Yes, but it isn't worth exposing myself to you virus-droplet hellscape. Boss: I'll just guess what you would have said. Dilbert: I think that's best.
Sunday October 04,
2020
Golden Age For Wally
Tags #6 feet, #avoid, #coffee, #eye contact, #face mask, #grocery shopping, #office workers, #social distancing, #upgrade, #Women
Transcript
wally at coffee pot talking to Dilbert:: social distancing has been a great upgrade to my life. in the old days, women avoided me by at least ten feet. now i often get within seven. i think it's because i'm better-looking with most of my face covered. especially if i wear a hat and sunglasses. and i learned that women will talk to me if i walk the wrong way down a grocery aisle. they're usually complaining but at least they make eye contact. it's sort of a golden age for people like me.