Tried Door Knob Comic Strips - Page 22

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291 Results for Tried Door Knob

View 211 - 220 results for tried door knob comic strips. Discover the best "Tried Door Knob" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bragging, rudeness, selfishness, stories, goat cistume, donated organs, hollow torso, backpack, zipper, family of squirrels

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Topper Returns Dilbert says, "I dreamed I was wearing a goat costume." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I donated all of my organs to sick people. Now I use my hollow torso like a backpack." "Dilbert says, "And I tried to go on a date." Topper says, "See my zipper? I took in a family of squirrels!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tech support, sit at computer, annoying, read book online, microphone

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Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert says, "Email me a list of the things you already tried." Dogbert says, "I'll go down the list and make you try every single thing again, sometimes more than once." Dogbert says, "And take your time because I'm reading a really good book online."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new head regulator, small man, pocket, pet head, breast feed, lactate, kibble, drinks, ceo

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CEO says, "Have you met the new head regulator for our industry?" CEO says, "At first it was inconvenient to feed him." CEO says, "Luckily I started lactating." Man says, "Have you tried kibble?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, question, nonsense, optimize, value stream, surprise, talk, listening

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Wally says, "Are you leveraging our resources to optimize the client value stream?" Asok says, "What?" Wally says, "I'm just messing with you? Nothing I say in meetings actually means anything." Asok says, "Then why do you talk?" Wally says, "I tried listening once. It was awful."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company, lawyer, stipulations, restrictions, humor, business, legal

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Company lawyer man says, "The company owns Dilbertfiles.com and all of its I.P. Because you created it at work." man says, "So you'll need to pay us a royalty every time you use the name 'Dilbert'" Dilbert says, "How did you get in my house?" man says, "There's a loophole in your door."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, employee, graduate, new, avoiding, useless, business

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Man says, "I just got my MBA, and I'm here to solve all of your problems." Dilbert says, "Our products are junk and we're completely out of capital." Man says, "Have you tried jargon?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags angry, yelling, assignment, ridiculous, overworked

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The boss says, "I need you to do product testing for our new release." Dilbert says, "How could I possible have time for all the work you keep giving me?" The boss says, "Have you tried sacrificing your health?" Dilbert says, "Do I look like I can run marathons?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags date, shallow, ridiculous, looking, cell phone, failure, leaving, rejection, technology

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Woman says, "I judge potential mates by their cell phone apps. Hand it over." Woman says, "You have an app that does nothing but hurl pirate insults. That is so stupid. This date is over." Cell Phone says, "Don't let the door hit you in the booty. Aaaargh!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sitting, criticism, ridicule, stupidity, ignoring, distracted, work, desk, forgetting

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the Boss says, "Why didn't you get my input on the vendor selection?" Dilbert says, "I tried, but?" Dilbert says, "You're so easily distracted that for all practical purposes you're nothing but furniture with coffee breath." The Boss says, "Where were we?" Dilbert says, "You were praising me for my good attitude."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, complaining, stupidity, confused, coworker, leaving, business

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Dilbert says, "I didn't understand anything you said for the past half an hour." Dilbert says, "You shushed me every time I tried to interrupt with a question." Dilbert says, "Now we're out of time, and my only memory of this meeting is that noise came out of your donut hole." Woman says, "This is why I don't let you talk."