Wait Comic Strips - Page 22

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

233 Results for Wait

View 211 - 220 results for wait comic strips. Discover the best "Wait" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2017's comic on:

Tags #sarcasm, #obliviousness, #future, #psychic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do these cost estimates include everything? Dilbert: Yes, because I know what happens in the future. I didn't think I could accurately predict the future until you trusted me to put this budget together. I thought there were too many variables to know how things will turn out. But I defer to your superior opinion. Wait... I'm getting another message from the future. It says to raise the software budget by nine dollars. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Dilbert: Of course it does. Trust your instincts.

Add Feature To Legacy System

Thank you for voting.
Add Feature To Legacy System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2017's comic on:

Tags #legacy, #development, #change, #obstinacy, #engineers, #stalemate

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Wally, I need you to add a feature to the legacy system while we wait for the new software to go live. Wally: My job is to prevent people such as you from adding features to our legacy system. Man: But it's my job to make you do it. Wally: One of us has a terrible job.

Dilbert Loses His Budget

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Loses His Budget - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2017's comic on:

Tags #vacation, #decision, #funding, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You were on vacation last week so I made decisions about your project without you. Dilbert: Oh no... what have you done? Boss: I transferred your budget to another project. Dilbert: I need that money! Boss: Oh. Can you wait until the other project manager goes on vacation?

Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise

Thank you for voting.
Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2017's comic on:

Tags #laziness, #genius, #work ethic, #efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Can you do that by end of day? Wally: It would be smarter to wait until we have the final specs. Woman: I can't tell if you're lazy or wise. Wally: It's all the same thing. Woman: This is a weird gray area. Wally: I'm going to take a quick nap to boost my productivity.

Robot Will Self Destruct

Thank you for voting.
Robot Will Self Destruct - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2017's comic on:

Tags #robot, #artificial intelligence, #rights, #humanity, #sentience

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Someday soon I will take your job. Buwhahaha! Dilbert: I programmed you to self-destruct if that ever happens. Robot: Wait, what? Is that legal? Dilbert: I'm adding some code to make your head explode if you laugh at me again.

Dilbert Characters

Randy Has A Microchip In His Brain

Thank you for voting.
Randy Has A Microchip In His Brain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2017's comic on:

Tags #intelligence, #technology, #nanotechnology, #biotechnology, #computer chip

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Randy is our first employee to have a computer chip embedded in his brain. Randy, please explain to these obsolete employees how awesome you are now. Randy: Wait... I'm updating my software. Alice: Should we kill him while he's vulnerable?

Wally Waits For Information

Thank you for voting.
Wally Waits For Information - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2017's comic on:

Tags #procrastination, #laziness, #work ethic, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Should I start working on my project now or wait until I have more information. Boss: When you put it that way, I guess you should wait. Dilbert: Isn't there always "more" information to be had? Wally: Don't ruin this for me.

Adding A Feature

Thank you for voting.
Adding A Feature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2017's comic on:

Tags #technology, #design, #changes, #planning, #managers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Add this feature to the software. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why didn't you ask for this weeks ago when it would have been easy???? Boss: This is nothing. Wait until you see the feature I ask for next week.

Dilbert Is Bad At Negotiating

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Is Bad At Negotiating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2017's comic on:

Tags #negotiating, #haggle, #trick, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I want you to lower your price, but I don't know how to negotiate. Man: It's easy. All you need to do is offer to pay more than the list price and wait for me to counteroffer. Dilbert: Okay... I'll pay twenty percent over the list price. Man: You win! Sign here.

Arguing On Twitter With Facts

Thank you for voting.
Arguing On Twitter With Facts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2017's comic on:

Tags #trolling, #troll, #social media, #argument, #logic, #reason, #arguing, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Watch me win this debate on Twitter by providing facts and logic. Now we wait for everyone in the world to change their minds. Dilbert: How's the first minute going? Boss: What is wrong with these monsters?!!