World Dominion Comic Strips - Page 22
269 Results for World Dominion
View 211 - 220 results for world dominion comic strips. Discover the best "World Dominion" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 06, 2013's comic on:
Coworker: Are you married? Wally: I don't have a wife, but I do have wifi. I find that it meets all of my social and intellectual needs. Coworker: Do you miss the warmth of human contact? Wally: Never tried it. Sounds problematic.
Share September 05, 2013's comic on:
Boss: I don't need to see your resume. That's the old way of hiring. Now we use data from the Internet to see what you've been up to lately. Ew. Applicant: I'll show myself out. Boss: You'll understand if I don't shake your hand.
Share September 29, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: Okay, you talked me into buying the deluxe edition. Salesman: We don't have that one in stock, but I could call around to our other stores. Dilbert: Technically, that means this is not actually a store. You're more like online shopping, but with a terrible user interface. Watch me buy that same item with my phone while you stand there being obsolete. And... done. Salesman: Did they try to sell you an unnecessary warranty extension? Dilbert: No. Salesman: Yes! I still have a purpose! Dilbert: Here's my digital receipt.
Share September 13, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert seeks asylum at Elbonia's embassy Elbonian: We don't have a lot of fancy technology in our embassy. If you want to send a message to the outside world, carve it on a peanut and give it to a squirrel. Dilbert: The squirrel would eat the peanut. Elbonian: Wow! You do not trust squirrels.
Share September 16, 2013's comic on:
Wally: I thought you were on the run for hacking the government's databases. Dilbert: I was. But they forgot to reset their passwords, so I deleted my case file and gave myself a tax break. Wally: Did you get me anything? Dilbert: You're the new face on pennies.
Share October 02, 2013's comic on:
CEO: Build a hyperloop to connect every major city in the world with super-fast transportation. The vision was the hard part. You idiots can work on the details. Someone pat me on the back. I can't reach it with my T-rex arms.
Share October 20, 2013's comic on:
Tags #dating, #internet & world wide web, #social media cosultant, #one like, #less than ten thousand, #insulting, #elbonian, #inflate your like count, #socialize, #wine glasses, #bar wine, #kiss, #relationships
Dilbert: What do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a social media consultant. Dilbert: I like you. Woman: Phhht. You're giving me one like? Anything less than ten thousand likes is an insult. Dilbert: I'll be right back. I hired an Elbonian to artificially inflate your like count. Elbonian: Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Dilbert: I am not paying that guy.
Share November 06, 2013's comic on:
Alice: Okay, Skype. Let's see if I can figure out how to shut you down. Close! Quit! Sign out! Minimize! Quit! Yes! Close! Quit! Die! Die! Die! Dilbert: Did you close Skype. Alice: Almost. I'm heading to the ocean to drown it.
Share November 09, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: I like my job. But I don't like any of the tasks... or any of the people... I don't like the commute... and I'm paid less than I'm worth... and I'm not making the world a better place. Dogbert: Are you sure you like your job? Dilbert: Why do you ask?
Share November 28, 2013's comic on:
Agent: I'm from the government. We've been monitoring your Internet activity. Half of my department went blind and the other half needs counseling. Wally: Sounds like not my problem. Agent: We'd like to weaponize you.