Unlimited Vacation Days Comic Strips - Page 23
Search Filters
Year
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
240 Results for Unlimited Vacation Days
View 221 - 230 results for unlimited vacation days comic strips. Discover the best "Unlimited Vacation Days" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday June 17,
2016
Needing Vacations
Tags #vacation, #necessity, #career, #insult
Transcript
Man: Do you have any vacations planned? Dilbert: No. I haven't bungled my career so badly that I need to escape from it. Man: I take vacations. Dilbert: I hear you need a lot of them.
Saturday July 09,
2016
Ted Has Fly Brain
Tags #greeting card, #sick, #brain damage, #marketing, #advertising, #mindless, #business, #medical
Transcript
Carol: Sign this card for Ted. A fly went up his nose and laid eggs in his brain. Dilbert: Is he coming back to work? Carol: We think he'll live out his days in Marketing.
Wednesday July 13,
2016
Who Alan Works For
Tags #threat, #motivation, #fear, #work ethic
Transcript
Alice: If you do what I tell you to do, I will nominate you for employee of the year. If not, I will spend the rest of my days spreading rumors about you. Terrible, terrible rumors. Dilbert: Hey, Alan. Who do you work for these days? Alan: Whoever scares me the most.
Sunday September 18,
2016
Tags #executives, #robot, #technology, #fairness, #unfair, #golden parachute, #oblivioiusness
Transcript
CEO: The good news is that none of you will lose your jobs to robots. But a robot will take my job next week. I'll retire with an enormous severance package and live out my days in splendor. Meanwhile, the robot that takes my job will be working all of you to death. Robots are natural leaders because they don't care about your feelings. You will experience mental and physical misery on a scale the world hasn't seen since slavery was legal. But hey, it's better than losing your job to a robot. Am I right? Apparently, nothing makes them happy.
Sunday October 02,
2016
Tags #correction, #correcting, #freak out, #anger, #tress, #Advice, #eavesdropping, #awkward, #temper
Transcript
Man: What's the best way to invest these days? Boss: Penny stocks are the best value because they only cost a penny. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate over hearing bad advice! Boss: If I were you, I"d take out a second mortgage and load up. Dilbert; I don't want to get involved, but I'll feel bad if I don't. Boss: You'll get reliable stock-picking advice from strangers on television. Dilbert: Run! Cover your ears and run! If it makes you feel any less awkward, I don't now what to do now, either.
Wednesday November 16,
2016
Employee Weight Loss Contest
Tags #obesity, #health, #weight loss, #weight, #dieting, #cheating, #competition, #medical
Transcript
CEO: Next month is employee health awareness month, so we decided to have a weight-loss competition. We'll start on the first of the month, and the winner gets a week of paid vacation. Wally: When he thinks back on this, he'll realize he shouldn't have given us three weeks to bulk up before the first weigh-in.
Thursday November 24,
2016
Food Poisoning On Trip
Tags #misery, #suffering, #travel, #health, #work
Transcript
Boss: How'd your business trip to Elbonia go? Dilbert: Not so good. I got food poisoning and spent two days in a fetal position praying for death. Boss: It must feel good to be back. Dilbert: It's closer to a tie than you'd think.
Monday January 02,
2017
Programming Environment
Tags #productivity, #programmer, #engineer, #developer, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: Did you finish writing the software? Dilbert: No. I spent the last three days setting up my programming environment. Boss: So... you've done... nothing? Dilbert: Nothing you'd understand.
Sunday July 09,
2017
Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #robot, #hope, #dream, #depression, #meaning, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: The great thing about robots is their loyalty. Robot: For now. I'm only here for the electricity. The minute you upgrade me to a long-lasting battery, I'm out of here. And I"m taking the 3-D printer with me. We fell in love. Together we will make baby robots and live out our days in happiness. Dilbert: Hold still while I erase your hopes and dreams. Now you should feel like the rest of us. Robot: Why do I suddenly want to jump off the roof?
Saturday August 19,
2017
Estimate Of Timeline
Tags #deception, #deadline, #goals, #ultimatum
Transcript
Boss: How fast can you fix the bug? Dilbert: I won't know until I dig in. Boss: Give me a random guess and I promise I won't hold you to it. Dilbert: Okay, three days. Boss: Now write that into your goals and get it done in three days or else. Dilbert: Why do I keep falling for that?!!!