With People Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for With People

View 221 - 230 results for with people comic strips. Discover the best "With People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #smell bad, #perfume, #killing people, #cpr, #let me die, #Dogbert, #woman, #bad perfume

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a woman's desk wearing a gas mask. He says, "I have failed in my attempt to subtly tell you that your perfume is killing people. I will try a direct approach." Dogbert removes the mask and screams, "Hey!! You smell bad!!! B-a-a-a-d!!" Dilbert collapses onto the desk and the woman asks, "Should I give you CPR?" Dogbert says, "No-o-o-o!! Let me die!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angel, #promoted top angel, #angel on earth, #help people, #mission assigned, #halo given, #Wally, #new hair, #buns of steel, #price list

View Transcript

Transcript

Angel 1: Mister Dogbert, we've decided to send you back to earth as an angel. Your mission is to help people in need. We have given you special powers. Angel 2: We'll be watching. wally: Okay, is whats the price for the new hair plus buns of steel? Ahem. Dogbert: Ist all on the price sheet.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #same task, #other people, #clever ploy, #create healthy internal competition, #average cauliflower, #brain, #fruit kingdom

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert stand in front of the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "Wally and I have a bet about why you assigned me to the same task as three other people." Dilbert continues, "I believe it's a clever ploy to create healthy internal competition. Wally thinks you're just dumber than the average cauliflower." The Boss says, "May I point out that cauliflower is the brain of the fruit kingdom." Wally looks at Dilbert and says, "Yes!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #be my couch, #dysfunctional internet connections, #huge ball yarn, #human resources, #treatment prgrams, #used as furniture, #yarn therpay, #ropes, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from Catbert's desk. Dilbert asks, "Does Human Resources offer any treatment programs for people with dysfunctional internet connections?" Catbert shows Dilbert a pamphlet and says, "I recommend the 'yarn therapy.' You'll be wrapped in a huge ball of yarn and used as furniture in my office." Dilbert reads the brochure and asks, "Is this like the famous 'Ropes' course where I learn to solve problems as part of a team?" Catbert replies, "Exactly, except here you learn to be my couch."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conquer the world, #secret handshake, #identify people, #new ruling class, #stick out tongue, #vinously slp, #face, #slap

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the couch backrest and Ratbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "When I conquer the world I'll have a secret handshake to identify the people who will be part of my new ruling class." Dogbert says, "Cross your eyes and stick out your tongue. Good, now vigorously slap your face." As Ratbert slaps himself, Dogbert says, "The people who aren't doing that will be identified as my new ruling class."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #love, #marriage, #cure, #technology, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert shouts, "Dogbert! Dogbert! Come here quickly!!" Dilbert says, "My computer simulation has discovered the chemical that causes LOVE!" Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a desk. Dilbert explains, "Apparently, it deactivates the parts of the brain responsible for critical thought and eating." Dogbert says, "Wow! You can inject people with that chemical and make them fall in love!" Dilbert says, "I was thinking more along the lines of a cure . . ." Dogbert replies, "Oh, like marriage."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #love is the air, #picture window, #love cheurb, #love with wrong persoon, #stupid cupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair with Dogbert sitting on his legs. Dogbert says, "My instinct tells me that love is in the air." There's a loud crash behind them. Dilbert and Dogbert walk to the window where a little angel sits on the floor in a pile of broken glass. The angel says, "Whoa! Who put the picture window there?" Dogbert says, "You must be the legendary love-cherub, 'Cupid.'" Cupid replies, "Good guess . . ." The angel continues, "But the proper pronunciation is 'STupid,' not 'Cupid.'" Dilbert says, "No wonder I always fall in love with the wrong person." Cupid struggles with his bow and arrow. He says, "Now how does this gizmo work?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #organization, #protection, #ugly, #people, #donation, #membership, #drive, #recognize, #arm chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert hears someone knocking on his door. Dilbert opens the door and a man says, "Hi. I'm from the 'Organization for the Protection of Ugly People.'" The man continues, "We are dedicated to eliminating the stereotype of ugly people as 'smart' and 'nice.'" Dilbert says, "Okay, I'll make a donation." The man says, "Thanks, but this is a membership drive . . ." Dilbert sits on the hassock and says, "I'm never going to answer the door again." Dogbert asks, "He didn't recognize you as his god?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #kinder, #trouble, #world, #creatures, #peace, #harmony, #pursues, #retribution, #little, #misdeed, #bygones, #forgive, #forget, #studies, #happier, #less, #stressful, #lives

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a brick wall. Dogbert says, "Sometimes I dream of a kinder world . . ." Dilbert thinks, "Trouble . . ." Dogbert continues, "A world where all creatures live in peace and harmony . . ." Dogbert continues, "Where nobody pursues retribution for some tiny little misdeed." Dilbert thinks, "Big trouble." Dogbert continues, "Where bygones are bygones . . . Forgive and forget . . ." Dilbert shouts, "Stop it! Stop it! Please just tell me what horrible thing you've done!" Dilbert runs away screaming. Dogbert says, "You know, studies have shown that people with pets live happier, less stressful lives."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #universe, #revealed, #meditate, #secrets, #mind, #thoughts, #meditating, #stopping, #eastern, #Religion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a cliff with a wise man. The wise man says, "The secrets of the universe will be revealed if you meditate." Dogbert asks, "Can't you just tell me the secrets?" The sage replies, "To meditate you must clear your mind of all thoughts." Dogbert asks, "If I have no thoughts how will I know if I'm meditating?" Dogbert continues, "And how do I come out of it? I won't be able to think about stopping." Dogbert continues, "And shouldn't stupid people be the best meditators of all?" The wise man says, "Perhaps you are not ready." Dogbert replies, "Perhaps you should spend more time with some thoughts."