Alice's Document Comic Strips - Page 23

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239 Results for Alice's Document

View 221 - 230 results for alice's document comic strips. Discover the best "Alice's Document" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #paying bills, #trees, #off site document, #storage costs, #out of control, #core bsuiness, #trees are jerks, #money

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Boss: Our off-site document storage costs are growing out of control. At this rate, our core business can be summarized as "put trees in jail." This is when you say something wise and helpful. CEO: Trees are jerks.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #deception, #new business strategy, #laptop, #coffee shop, #public access, #wifi, #hackers, #strategy document, #sell secrets, #competitors, #business strategy, #break in

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Dilbert: Wally, I want you to create a new business strategy for the company. Then use your laptop in a coffee shop that has public access to wi-fi. Hackers will get into your computer in minutes and steal your strategy document. With any luck, the hackers will sell those secrets to our competitors. Obviously, we would never use any strategy you created, so our competitors will be misled. Wally: So... you want me to do a bad job on an assignment and then go drink coffee? Boss: Can you handle that? Wally: I like my odds. Dilbert: Why do you want a copy of our business strategy? Wally: It'll save a step.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #contracts, #lawyers, #porposal, #incomprehensible document, #complexity

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Boss: Your proposal with the three bullet points looks good to me. I'll ask my lawyers to turn it into an incomprehensible nine-page document that introduces complexity risks for... no... reason. Can I get back to you in the year 2018? Man: Stop making me cry!

Wally's Document Doesn't Open

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Wally's Document Doesn't Open - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #laziness, #technology, #document, #project update, #hard disk, #erase, #reinstall, #operating system, #work

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Boss: I couldn't open the document you sent with your project update. Wally: Try erasing your hard disk and reinstalling the operating system. Boss: I guess I don't need it that badly. Wally: After all the work I put into making that document?

Dick Comments On Alice's Blog

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Dick Comments On Alice's Blog - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #blog, #comment, #dick, #internet, #troll, #personified, #worked up, #technology

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Man: Hi, I'm Dick, from the Internet. Do you have anything for me to mock? Alice: I'm leaving a comment on a blog. Man: Okay, got it. Alice: Can you take it out of context? Man: Shhh! I'm trying to get worked up over nothing.

Alice's Off Color Jokes

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Alice's Off Color Jokes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #joke, #jokes, #joking, #assume, #assumptions, #offensive

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Tina: I'm uncomfortable with the off-color jokes I keep hearing in the engineering department. Boss: I'll talk to the guys and tell them to knock it off. Tina: Guys? Alice: Stop being babies. My jokes do not hurt your ears! Dilbert and Asok: It burns!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #executives, #truth, #honesty, #protection, #protected, #shelter

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Alice: May I speak frankly? Dilbert: Uh-oh. CEO: Of course! A good CEO listens to his underlings. [He soon realized this was a bad idea. Alice's honesty felt like fire ants on his skin. Bystanders scattered. The CEO had not heard the truth in years. It burned like a thousand suns.] Catbert: Whoa! Someone got truthed.

Alice's List

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Alice's List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #society, #murder, #violence, #law, #enemy, #revenge, #apocalypse

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Alice: Looks like I'll be adding this guy to my list. Dilbert: List? Alice: I keep a list of who to visit first when society breaks down and there is no rule of law. Dilbert: To build alliances? Alice: That's the sort of optimism that gets you killed in the first hour.

Why Didn't You Tell Me Sooner

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Why Didn't You Tell Me Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #paradox, #debate, #arguing

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Alice: Why didn't you tell me about this sooner? Dilbert: That's a fool's game because Zeno's Paradox says there will always be a time sooner than the one I pick. Alice's Paradox says that no matter how many criticisms you explain away, there are always plenty more.

Alice's Phone Trance

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Alice's Phone Trance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #phone, #cell phone, #distraction, #attention, #social, #interaction, #ignore, #ignoring, #technology

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Dilbert: Hey, Alice. Alice... Alice... Alice... Alice... I can't penetrate your phone-induced zombie trance, so I'll just text you. Alice: Stop doing that. Dilbert: I can't hear you because I'm looking at my phone.