Build System Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

378 Results for Build System

View 221 - 230 results for build system comic strips. Discover the best "Build System" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #online job posting, #fantasize, #enjoyable job, #cubilce, #boss, #busted

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice thinks, "I'm addicted to our online job posting system." Alice thinks, "It helps me fantasize about having a job I could enjoy." The Boss thinks, "This can't be good." Alice says, "Oooh!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #users want, #supply and emnad, #idiot, #managing, #work harder, #earn less money, #fire me, #obvious things

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Find out what the users want before your build it." Dilbert says, "Why are you explaining my job to me as if I'm an idiot?" The Boss says, "It's called managing." The Boss says, "I assume you're dumb because you work harder than I do and earn less money." The Boss says, "And my boss would fire me if I just sat in my office and did nothing." The Boss says, "So I wander around and say obvious thing to you idiots until quitting time." The Boss says, "Then I go home and eat until my underpants don't fit." The Boss says, "Thanks for asking."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fortune, #personally negotiating, #contract, #new era system, #several components, #software, #hardware, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I saved a fortune by personally negotiating the contract for our new ERP system." Dilbert says, "You bought outdated hardware and forgot several components that are required." Dilbert says, "And I like software with my hardware, but that's just me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bought entire era system, #software, #money, #boat sinkiing, #anchor to head, #staff, #out of money, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We inadvertently bought an entire ERP system without any software. Now we're out of money." Asok says, "Why do I suddenly feel like my boat is sinking and someone nailed an anchor to my head?" The Boss says, "If only someone on my staff could write the software in his spare time..." Asok says, "Glub glub glub"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new elbonian management, #not discriminate, #non elbonians, #belief system, #level as livestock, #wrong hoof, #new superior

View Transcript

Transcript

An Elbonian says, "I assure you that your new Elbonian management will not discriminate against non-Elbonians." Someone says, "Doesn't your belief system hold that all non-Elbonians are on the same level as livestock?" The Elbonian says, "Someone is starting off on the wrong hoof with his new supervisor."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart the ceo, #420 times, #smarter, #system is flawed, #contradicting your boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I earn 420 times what you make. That means I'm 420 times smarter." A man says, "Actually, it means the system is deeply flawed." Dogbert says, "If you were 420 times smarter, you wouldn't be contradicting your boss right now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spam filter, #rewrote business plan, #build an army, #indestructible robots, #new org chart, #microwave

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "Our spam filter became self-aware. It rewrote our business plan." Carol says, "It wants us to build an army of indestructible robots." Carol says, "And the new org chart is out. It looks like you report to... the microwave."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #killer robots, #spam filter, #ordered

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Do you really think it's a good idea to build killer robots just because our spam filter ordered you?" FZEEET! Dilbert says, "What's the worst thing that could happen?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinner date, #interesting story, #self aware, #build an army, #killer robots

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman says, "Tell me an interesting story." Dilbert says, "Our spam filter became self-aware and ordered us to build an army of killer robots. My coworker, Alice, punched them all to death." The woman says, "I'm not even in that story."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #defense, #security, #workstation, #logged in, #netowrk, #teach someone a lesson, #activating defensive wedgie system, #violated perimeter, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: This workstation is still logged in to the network. It's time to teach someone a lesson about security. I'll just go in here and... Computer: WARNING! WARNING! IDIOT ALERT! The boss: GAAA! Computer: ACTIVATING DEFENSIVE WEDGIE SYSTEM.Dilbert: I have to go. Some idiot violated my perimeter. The boss: Please make it stop. Dilbert: Then how would you learn?