Ceo Comic Strips - Page 23
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627 Results for Ceo
View 221 - 230 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 12,
2010
Tags meeting, weekly report, feng shui, workspace, ceo, consultant, record, microphone, nervous, disbelief, excuse, superstition, business
Transcript
Wally says, "I couldn't work this week because my workspace has bad Feng Shui." Wally says, "I know Feng Shui is a real thing because our CEO hired a Feng Shui consultant to design his office." Wally says, "Do you agree, or are you saying that our CEO is a superstitious simpleton?"
Wednesday March 24,
2010
Tags leg, rope, attached, crony, ceo, job, new boss, qualified, monkey, hammer, hold, suspicious, business, animals
Transcript
CEO says, "This rope is attached to a crony from my last CEO job." CEO says, "Give it a good yank and reel him in. He's your new boss." The Boss says, "Is he qualified for the job?" CEO says, "Like a monkey with a hammer!"
Monday June 28,
2010
Tags presentation, 14%, projector screen, label, ceo, dry run
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I based my estimate on the reliable input of people who just wanted me to leave them alone." Dilbert says, "I decided against labeling it because I'll probably need some deniability later." Dilbert says, "Are we done with the dry run, or do you want me to use up all of my energy before our CEO gets here?"
Wednesday July 07,
2010
Tags report, oil rigs, explode, medicine, bacteria, pharmaceuticals, government, share holder, success, lie
Transcript
The Boss says, "I'm happy to report that none of our oil rigs exploded." The Boss says, "Our children's pharmaceuticals are not tainted with bacteria, and the government is not investigating our financial practices." The Boss says, "All we're doing is quietly losing share-holder value." CEO says, "I knew it would feel like success if we kept at it!"
Friday July 23,
2010
Tags death ray, invention, brain scan, popcorn, microwave, worry, eyebrows, north korea
Transcript
CEO CEO says, "We're getting a lot of interest in your death ray invention." Dilbert says, "It's not a death ray. It's a portable brain scanner with a popcorn microwave option?" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. That's a death ray." CEO says, "We have an RFQ from North Korea."
Tuesday July 27,
2010
Tags statue of liberty, destroy, pr, responsibility, clean up, new york harbor, light show, weapon demo, podium, speech, fish food
Transcript
CEO says, "The media is on our back because we accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty. We need your P.R. advice." Dogbert says, "Did you take full responsibility and promise to clean up the harbor?" CEO says, "Ooh." Earlier that day CEO says, "Many of you don't know that the Statue of Liberty was very old... and made entirely of fish food."
Wednesday July 28,
2010
Tags statue of liberty, destroy, pr, responsibility, clean up, new york harbor, light show, weapon demo, consultant, cuba, air force, sink, yell, angry, private jet, head, business
Transcript
Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "So you accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty?" Dogbert says, "Her head is floating toward Cuba, and the president will probably order the air force to sink it." CEO says, "I should watch that from my private jet." Dogbert says, "FOCUS!"
Thursday July 29,
2010
Tags public relations, statue of liberty, destroy, new york harbor, weapon demo, remorse, fake, glasses, fake tears, water, flood
Transcript
Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "The public won't forgive you until you fake some remorse." Dogbert says, "These glasses have a hose that leads to a pumping station and a huge reservoir of fake tears." CEO says, "If we have another press conference, we should crack open a window."
Tuesday August 03,
2010
Tags empire consultant, crown, king, employees, undproductive, ineffecient, brow, windshield, business
Transcript
Dogbert the empire consultant Dogbert says, "Make your employees less productive. That way your CEO will let you hire more of them." Dogbert sys, "Inefficiency is the same thing as leadership. A king needs an entire country just to wipe his?" The Boss says, "Brow?" Dogbert says, "I was going to say windshield." The Boss says, "Brow is catchier."
Friday August 20,
2010
Tags new head regulator, small man, pocket, pet head, breast feed, lactate, kibble, drinks, ceo
Transcript
CEO says, "Have you met the new head regulator for our industry?" CEO says, "At first it was inconvenient to feed him." CEO says, "Luckily I started lactating." Man says, "Have you tried kibble?"


