Customer Service Smile Comic Strips - Page 23
325 Results for Customer Service Smile
View 221 - 230 results for customer service smile comic strips. Discover the best "Customer Service Smile" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 06, 2009's comic on:
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "your boss says you refuse to do your job." Dilbert says, "he told me to kill a customer, assume her identity, and place a huge order with the company." Catbert says, "I'll transfer your to the collections department until you're willing to kill."
Share February 09, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert works in collections Customer says, "My wife hates me and I live between and archery range and a nest of rabid badgers." Dilbert says, "Is that a reason for not paying your bills?" Customer says, "I'm just saying you called at as bad time."
Share February 10, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert works in collections Customer says, "My wife left me, my truck caught on fire, and all of my organs are failing." Dilbert says, "I work in a collections department." Customer says, "You win." Dilbert says, "Winning isn't what it used to be." a voice yells, "Your five minute break is over!"
Share March 28, 2009's comic on:
Dogbert the CEO man says, "The union will agree to deep cuts if you agree to work for one dollar per year." Dogbert says, "I agree, as long as I get my pay in advance and the mandatory retirement age is waived." Man says, "Fine." Dogbert says, "Call payroll and tell them to cut a check for my next ten billion years of service."
Share March 29, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "Ted, I want to thank you for your 14 years of loyal service in this fabric-covered box." The boss says, "On a related note. The company has decided to right-size." The boss says, "And keeping you would be the wrong size." the boss says, "Clear out your debris in an hour so I can use your cubicle to store my old binders." Ted says, "Who will do my job?" the boss says, "no one." ted says, "So...for all practical purposes I am being replaced by a pile of old binders?" The boss says, "If it makes you feel better, the binders are useless. Everything is online now." Ted says, "So...I'm better than old binders?" The boss says, "Maybe this would be a good time to change the subject."
Share May 10, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert says, "If we lease a machine from you, how can we be sure you'll stay in business to service it?" Man says, "How can we be sure you'll have enough money to pay the lease?" Dilbert says, "You could check our financials." Man says, "I'm pretty sure your financials are as fraudulant as ours." Dilbert says, "Good point. Maybe we could ask trusted third parties to vouch for us." Dilbert says, "Do you trust any third parties?" Man says, "Not since my financial advisor put my retirement savings in a ponzi scheme and had an affair with my wife." And thus ended capitalism Dilbert says, "Well, we tried." Man says, "Maybe I could grow food in my car."
Share May 29, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "In phase one, we'll tell our customer that the system failure won't happen again." Not us! The boss says, "In phase two, when it happens again, we'll act surprised." The boss says, "Then we'll say a software patch is being installed." Asok the intern says, "Gaaa!!! We're bad people!"
Share June 21, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "Alice, you'll be acting manager next week while I'm on vacation." Alice says, "I can't. I'll be in a training class all week." The boss says, "Dilbert, you'll?" Dilbert says, "I'll be at a customer site all week." The boss says, "Carol..." Carol says, "I'll be getting my tubes tied." The Boss says, "Asok..." Asok says, "I'm going to my grandmother's funeral in India." Wally says, "Yes? Is there something you need me to do?" The Boss says, "Attend a funeral in India. Tell everyone you're Asok and you had a horrible accident." The boss says, "Tell them the acid destroyed your hair and your personality." Wally says, "That took an ugly turn."
Share July 25, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "Tina, answer this customer complaint. And remembert, the customer is always an idiot." Tina says, "I think you mean the customer is always?um?oh my?" The boss says, "Quick! Pop your ears so your head doesn't explode!" Gurk!
Share July 27, 2009's comic on:
Tina says, "Can you review my letter to this customer who complained?" Dilbert says, "'Tell the spiders living in your skull that we'll look into it.'" Tina says, "Good writing should never be predictable." Dilbert says, "Then it's perfect."