Financial Problems Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

255 Results for Financial Problems

View 221 - 230 results for financial problems comic strips. Discover the best "Financial Problems" comics from Dilbert.com.

Worthless Financial Projections

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Worthless Financial Projections - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, finances, big business, projection, prediction, guessing, estimate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's the financial projection you asked me to do. It's basically just guessing plus math. Obviously, it's useless for making decisions because I can get any result I want by tweaking the assumptions. Boss: Don't say any of that stuff when you present it to the board tomorrow.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Forecasts Are Guessing Plus Math

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Forecasts Are Guessing Plus Math - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags guessing, finances, forecast, estimate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your financial forecast turned out to be wrong. Dilbert: Is that a surprise, given that forecasts are mostly just guessing plus math? Boss: The math is supposed to fix the guessing. Dilbert: I think we've isolated the problem to you.

Nailed It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nailed It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags finances, guessing, estimate, catchphrase, clever

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because your financial forecasts were all wrong. Dilbert: Financial forecasts are always wrong. You told me to make one anyway. Boss: In other words, I nailed it and you failed it. Dilbert: Catchy.

Wally Has A Car Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has A Car Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, excuse, laziness, problems, starbucks, car problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Sorry I'm late. I had a car problem. Boss: What kind of car problem? Wally: I didn't get in it soon enough. Boss: That sounds like a "you" problem. Wally: Then my stupid car took me to Starbucks.

Unforseen Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Unforseen Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags building apps, completion date, problems, unforseen

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It will take four weeks to build the app, unless there are unforeseen problems. how often do we have unforeseen problems? Dilbert: One hundred percent of the time. Then whats the point of estimating a completion date? Dilbert: I was hoping to make you stop talking but t dint work.

Absurd Absolute

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Absurd Absolute - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags software upgrade, idiot, absurd absolute, admit when wrong, eaten unicorn

View Transcript

Transcript

You're an idiot if you think the software upgrade will solve every one of our problems. Dilbert: Or are you an idiot for characterizing my reasonable idea as an absurd absolute? Why cant you admit when you're wrong? Dilbert: Same reason you've never eaten a unicorn.

Anger Issues

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anger Issues - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger issues, listen to crazy people, mental problems, work weekend, crazy people

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Im worried that all of my employees might have mental problems. The Boss: They exhibited anger issues when I told them to work all weekend for no extra pay. CatBert: Did they say you're the cause off their mental problems? The Boss: I dont listen to crazy people.

Pill For Boss Conversations

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pill For Boss Conversations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mental health, mental illness, crazy, managers, sanity, insane

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Catbert thinks I'm causing mental problems in my employees. That's crazy, right? Carol: Hold that thought. My doctor prescribed pills for when I have to talk to you.

Directionally Accurate

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Directionally Accurate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags projections, budget, finance, math, excuse, compliment, accuracy, education, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you confident in your financial projections? Wally: They're directionally accurate. Boss: Your columns don't even add up. Wally: Why is it so hard for you to give a compliment?

Smartphone Syndrome

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Smartphone Syndrome - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, smart phone, compulsion, addiction, attention, distraction, mental health, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: You've got a bad case of smartphone syndrome. One of hundred percent of your mental and physical problems are caused by using your phone too much. I don't feel as if I'm getting through to you. Alice texting: She's still talking. LOL.