Low Priority Tasks Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

241 Results for Low Priority Tasks

View 221 - 230 results for low priority tasks comic strips. Discover the best "Low Priority Tasks" comics from Dilbert.com.

Blame Rolls Downhill

Thank you for voting.
Blame Rolls Downhill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #blame, #responsibility, #management

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO blamed the Sales department for our low revenue. Sales blamed Marketing and Marketing blamed Engineering. Guess why I'm here. Dilbert: To shield me from unfair accusations?

Sales Is Blaming Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Sales Is Blaming Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #sales, #responsibility, #blame, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our salespeople are blaming Marketing for the low demand. Marketing is blaming Engineering for making a product no one wants. So I blamed our customers for misleading us about their needs. Asok: Now I don't feel so bad about our price-gouging.

Priorities

Thank you for voting.
Priorities - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #priorities, #culture, #company, #money, #greed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: There seems to be some confusion about what our company culture is. Boss: Our priorities are honesty, integrity, and return on investment. Alice: Which priority is the highest? Boss: Integrity won't buy me a new boat.

Soul Killing Tasks

Thank you for voting.
Soul Killing Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #work, #pleasure, #toil, #fulfillment, #engagement

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hey, I have a great idea. Maybe I could work on interesting projects instead of the soul-killing tasks you always assign to me. Boss: Why would I pay you for enjoying yourself? Dilbert: I was not prepared for that question.

Robots In Management

Thank you for voting.
Robots In Management - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #loopholes, #robot, #automation, #murder, #killing, #productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our experiment with robots in management has been a success. Productivity is way up since they started killing the low-performing humans. CEO: But... that's murder. Boss: Only when humans do it. We found a loophole.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #memory, #notes, #forgetting, #reminder, #forgetfulness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can you review the project plan in the shared folder before Monday? Man: Absolutely. Dilbert: I don't see you making a note to remind you later. Man: I'll remember. Dilbert: How many other tasks are you trying to remember at the same time/ Man: About seventy. Dilbert: And yet you will remember this one? Man: Have some faith, Wally. Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Man: What were we talking about?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2018's comic on:


Tags #my value, #new assignments, #projects, #slow walker, #rivals in management

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, Im promoting you to the position of slow walker. Wally: I am almost curious about what that entails. The Boss: I'll be giving you all the assignments that could make my rivals in management successful. All you have to of is low walk those projects until they die from lack of energy. Wally: Its about time you recognized my value. Ive been pre[aring for this moment all of my life. The Boss: Meet me in my office in ten minutes for you new assignments. You're supposed to be here two hours ago. Wally: Is it too soon to ask for a raise?

Millenial Fever

Thank you for voting.
Millenial Fever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #millennial, #positive reinforcement, #praise, #meaning, #purpose

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I got millennial fever from talking to a millennial. Now I see my job as a meaningless series of empty tasks. Catbert: What do you expect me to do about that? Dilbert: I was hoping for some praise.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2018's comic on:


Tags #add code, #corporate scamming, #darkest day, #designed new prodcut, #draft apology, #engineering success, #make unrelaible, #no upgarde, #press release, #ten years

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ive designed our new product to work flawlessly for up to ten years. CEO: No one will need an upgrade. Thats no good. Add some code to low it down and make it unreliable after two years. CEO: But make sure the device doesn't slow down until we have an upgrade to sell. Then draft an apology I can put un a press realize when we get caught. Dilbert: You have turned my engineering success into the darkest day of my career. CEO: Thats not even close to being true. Your darkest day will be when the press figures out what we did and I fore you for it.

To Do List

Thank you for voting.
To Do List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2018's comic on:


Tags #to-do list, #list, #task, #stress, #assignments

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'd better make a list of all the things I need to do today. Narrator: Eight hours later. Dilbert: I have 347 urgent tasks, and I add about seven new ones each day. I'll cross "make a to-do list" off my to-do list and call it a day.