Not Allowed To Eat Comic Strips - Page 23

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260 Results for Not Allowed To Eat

View 221 - 230 results for not allowed to eat comic strips. Discover the best "Not Allowed To Eat" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #pizza, #mens room, #ipad, #newspaper, #pizza delivery, #Entertainment

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Alice: Have you seen Wally? Dilbert: He's been in the men's room for two days. He used to leave when he was done reading the paper, but he switched to an iPad and now he doesn't know when he's finished. Alice: He has to come out to eat. Pizza Guy: I have a pizza for the third stall.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2013's comic on:


Tags #anger, #employees, #violence, #contradcited, #meeting, #fist of death, #robots, #no legal rights, #cardio, #oiled my pan, #business

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Alice: You contradicted me in a meeting today and I didn't appreciate it. I'm no allowed to use my fist of death on humans, but you robots have no legal rights. It's not personal. This is how I get my cardio. Robot: I just oiled my pan.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #pride, #incompetent, #phd, #pretending allowed

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Coworker: I have no real-world experience and I am incompetent at everything. But unlike any of you, I have a Ph.D., and that means you have to take me seriously. Dilbert: Is pretending allowed? Coworker: Totally. It all looks the same to me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #motivation, #insincere, #bar too high, #low motivation, #business

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Dilbert: My motivation is low today. I understand it's your job to fix that situation. An insincere attaboy or a fake interest in my life would be enough. Boss: Drop dead and let the flies eat you. Dilbert: I set the bar too high again.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2013's comic on:


Tags #fear, #surprise, #underwear, #interruption, #sphicter, #scared, #shitless

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Coworker: Alice, do you have a... Alice: Gaaa!!! My day has been one interruption after another! Coworker: You made my sphincter eat my underpants! Alice: Yeah, I do that now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2013's comic on:


Tags #correspondence, #rodents, #dilbert seeks asylum at elbonia's embassy, #embassy, #Peanut, #squirrel, #secret message

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Dilbert seeks asylum at Elbonia's embassy Elbonian: We don't have a lot of fancy technology in our embassy. If you want to send a message to the outside world, carve it on a peanut and give it to a squirrel. Dilbert: The squirrel would eat the peanut. Elbonian: Wow! You do not trust squirrels.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #facebook, #work, #home, #unpaid work, #business

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Boss: You're not allowed to use Facebook at work. Alice: Fine. I'll use it at home tonight instead of doing the three hours of unpaid work I was planning to do. Boss: I"m calling that a win.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2013's comic on:


Tags #executives, #laziness, #managers & supervisors, #famous leaders, #copy, #16 hrs a day, #reading about industry, #leaders eat cake, #business

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Dogbert: I have studied the practices of famous leaders so you can copy them. First, work sixteen hours every day. Boss & CEO: Sixteen hours?? Dogbert: And in your spare time, you should be reading about your industry to stay current. Boss & CEO: Reading??? Dogbert: Oookay. This isn't working. Suppose I told you that famous leaders eat a lot of cake? That took a creepy turn.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2013's comic on:


Tags #avarice, #Family, #personal items, #cubilces, #photos of kids

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Boss: Is that a picture of your kids? No personal items are allowed in cubicles! Employee: It's not personal. My kids are only in it for the money. Boss: It's more of a gray are than you'd think.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2014's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #managers & supervisors, #questioning, #jeff bezos rule, #rule of meetings, #two pizzas, #feed a meeting, #eat two pizzas, #zeros paradox, #feed everyone, #cheese bread, #business

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Boss: We're going to use the Jeff Bezos rule of meetings. Bezos says you should never have a meeting that is so big you can't feed everyone with two pizzas. Wally: I can eat two pizzas by myself. Alice: How do you count the people who have gluten sensitivity and don't eat pizza? Dilbert: If I apply Zeno's Paradox to the slice size, can I have infinite attendees? Wally: And what does it mean to "feed" everyone? Do they need to be totally full? Boss: Stop being engineers! Wally: How does cheese bread fit into this?