Sarcasm Comic Strips - Page 23

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270 Results for Sarcasm

View 221 - 230 results for sarcasm comic strips. Discover the best "Sarcasm" comics from Dilbert.com.

Customers Are Dead People

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Customers Are Dead People  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, customer, lists, dead, alive, lie, activist, sarcasm

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dilbert: activists are accusing us of padding our customer list with the names of dead people. boss: that's a lie. those customers were alive when they bought our products. dilbert: did they die while using them? boss: let's hope the activists don't ask that question.

Teamwork But

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Teamwork But - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, business, teamwork, limit, competition, salary, funds, battle, meeting, thinking, sarcasm

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boss: the key to success is teamwork. dilbert: then why does our compensation system pit employees against each other to battle for limited funds salary funds? boss: this meeting will go a lot smoother if you stop doing whatever you're doing right now. dilbert: i call it "thinking."

Doing Nothing Is A Decision

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Doing Nothing Is A Decision - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, harsh, hate, lazy, managers & supervisors, progress, projects, sarcasm, technology

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boss with laptop and on video chat: wally, it seems that once again you have made no progress on any of your projects. wally: it looks that way from the outside but what you have to understand is that not doing something is also a decision. boss: i literally hate talking to you. wally: harsh.

Dogbert The Bitcoin Billionaire

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Dogbert The Bitcoin Billionaire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, pandemic, billionaire, covert, plan, rule, planet, progress, sarcasm

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dilbert: this pandemic has been hard for all of us. dogbert: not me. i became a bitcoin billionaire and made progress on my covert plan of ruling over the planet. dilbert: why am i just hearing this? dogbert: because i'm good at it.

General Incompetence

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General Incompetence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, project, success, expectations, destroy, incompetent, sarcasm

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dilbert: in summary, my project was successful beyond all expectations. Colleague: my relative lack of success this year makes me hate you and want to destroy you. dilbert: what's stopping you? colleague: general incompetence. same thing that killed all of my projects.

Cake For Ted

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Cake For Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, cake, conference, birthday, invite, sarcasm

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wally: we're having cake in the conference room for ted's birthday. dilbert: i don't like ted. wally: no one does. we didn't invite him. dilbert: then why are we having an event for him? wally: we like cake?

Wally's Success

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Wally's Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, track, success, work, correlation, working, sarcasm, unproductive

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wally: i've been tracking my successes at work relative to my efforts, and i see no correlation. so if you see me not working hard, you should assume everything is fine. boss: you've never had a success to track. wally: i was hoping you didn't know that.

Boss Gets Vaccinated

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Boss Gets Vaccinated - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, virus, covid-19, vaccine, vaccination, toxic, soup, deadly, neener

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boss: i got the covid-19 vaccination, so i'm feeling safe. i feel sorry for you unvaccinated people who are marinating in a toxic soup of deadly viruses. dilbert: thank you for your concern. boss: neener-neener.

Dogbert Is Doctor Of Impossible

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Dogbert Is Doctor Of Impossible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boring, business, cure, diseases, doctor, fail, headache, ice-cold bath, impossible, improvement, medical, prescribe, sarcasm, treatments, health and wellnes

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dogbert: i'm dogbert, doctor of the impossible. boss: does that mean you cure diseases that are believed to be impossible to cure? dogbert: no, that sounds boring. i prescribe treatments that are impossible to follow. when you fail you don't get better. you'll think it's your own fault. boss: how does that help anyone but you? dogbert: hey, i'm not the one who brought it up. boss: you're giving me a headache. dogbert: to cure that, i suggest ice-cold baths every six minutes.

Gaming The System

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Gaming The System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, decision, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, wrong, believe, system, project

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boss: ted says you are making all the wrong technology decisions on your project. dilbert: why do you believe him? boss: because he's the last person i talked to. dilbert: but now you're talking to me. boss: stop trying to game the system.