Stock Market Comic Strips - Page 23
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266 Results for Stock Market
View 221 - 230 results for stock market comic strips. Discover the best "Stock Market" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday January 21,
2015
Dilbert Designs Flying Car
Tags business decisions, good ideas, ideas, innovation, inventions, managers, rejection, flying car, harvest ion, ion powered cars, selfie camera, sterring wheel
Transcript
Dilbert: I designed a flying car that harvests ions from the air to power itself. We can build them for only $3,000 apiece. CEO: There's no market for ion-powered flying cars. Dilbert: I can put a selfie camera in the steering wheel. CEO: Much better. And let' say the car does not fly.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday February 21,
2015
Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok
Tags Advice, bad advice, diversification, investment, obliviousness, stock market, money
Transcript
Asok: Do you have any investment tips? Boss: You're asking the right person! I can teach you how to time the market, catch a falling knife, and invest in a dead-cat bounce. That's my system. Asok: What about diversification? Boss: I don't invest in anything I can't spell.
Monday February 23,
2015
Technical Analysis
Tags Advice, bad advice, investing, stock market, stocks, squirrel sitting, clown shoulder, technical analysis, money
Transcript
Lessons in Investing. Boss: You should buy a stock whenever the chart looks like a squirrel sitting on a clown's shoulder. That's called "technical analysis." Asok: I'm not going to do that. Boss: Good. Because it doesn't work if everyone does it.
Tuesday February 24,
2015
Everyone Can Beat The Market Average
Tags Advice, bad advice, investing, investor, stock market, stock reserch, money
Transcript
Boss: Asok, you can beat market averages by doing your own stock research. Asok: So... you believe every investor can beat the average by reading the same information? Boss: Yes. Asok: Makes you wonder why more people don't do it. Boss: Just lazy, I guess.
Wednesday February 25,
2015
Asok The Stock Picking Genius
Tags day trader, greed, investing, luck, money, stock market, stocks
Transcript
Asok: I bought my first stock and it went up five percent in one week!That means I'm a stock-picking genius. I plan to max out all of my credit cards and become a day-trader. Dilbert: The total market is up six percent. Asok: That's just luck. It can't do that forever.
Thursday February 26,
2015
Asok Loses Money On Boss's Advice
Tags Advice, experience, stock market, lost savings, past perfromance, further returns, money
Transcript
Asok: I followed your investment advice and lost all of my savings in the stock market. Boss: Did I mention that past performance is not an indication of future returns. Asok: Then... how does "advice" actually work? Boss: It only works for the people that give it.
Tuesday March 31,
2015
Tina Strings Economic Words Together
Tags economist, economy, deception, jargon, prediction, stock market, recession, money
Transcript
Wally The Chief Economist. Tina: My interview with you is live on the website. Nothing you said made sense, so I strung together a bunch of economic jargon and called it your forecast. One Month Later. Computer: Only one economist accurately predicted when this bubble would burst. Dilbert: Uh-oh.
Tuesday June 07,
2016
Tina Wants A Work Husband
Tags marriage, Women, nagging, wife, wives, criticism, yelling, relationships
Transcript
Tina: I'm in the market for a "work husband." Do you have a "work wife" yet? Dilbert: I'm not sure. Alice criticized me a lot. Does that count? Tina: That's all I wanted to do, too. Dilbert: Okay, but don't let Alice find out.
Monday June 13,
2016
Twitter Complaints
Tags customer servie, customer support, trolling, social media, popularity, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: We're getting a lot of product complaints on Twitter. Boss: Tell those trolls to shut up and leave us alone. Dilbert: Uh... okay. CEO: Why did our stock just drop to zero? Boss: Sounds like a seasonal thing.
Sunday August 21,
2016
Tags financial, jargon, money, accounting, language
Transcript
Boss: I think it is important for every employee to understand our company's income statement. I don't have time to get into all of the details, so I'll hit the high points. Compared to last year... our ebida have been amortized over an accrued market discount. Meanwhile, our capital account liabilities have a pass-through income that is far larger than our on-time costs. And the mome raths outgrabe. Too far? Dilbert: I wasn't listening.

