Tech Support Comic Strips - Page 23
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262 Results for Tech Support
View 221 - 230 results for tech support comic strips. Discover the best "Tech Support" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 06,
2015
App For Hiring Decisions
Tags mansplaining, tech, programmers, coders, interview, hiring, stereotype
Transcript
Boss: No need to talk. Now we use an app to make hiring decisions. The app checked your online footprint and says you're a serial mansplainer with an unsuccessful dating history. I assume that means you have awesome technical skills. Interviewee: Full stack!
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday August 09,
2015
Tags employee, Advice, health, wellness, money, cost, work ethic, fatigue, Family, marriage, support, insult, relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.
Monday September 28,
2015
Tags watch, technology, signal, symbol, time, punctual, fitbit, wearable tech, outdated, change
Transcript
Alice: I used to enjoy pointing to my watch and mocking people for being late. But it isn't as fun as it used to be. Dilbert: Is your step count low again?
Sunday October 04,
2015
Tags antisocial, conversation, uncomfortable, awkward, Women, technology, discussion
Transcript
Tina: It is hard to be a woman in this industry. Dilbert: I'll let you take this one. Wally: Got it. I'm short, bald, and nearsighted. I have no ambition, and I have all the sign of being a sociopath. I am unattractive and too old for the tech industry., I am shaped like a sad turnip and I do not make people laugh. Alice: What are you hens clucking about now? Tina: I can't begin to tell you how much I want to change the subject.
Monday June 13,
2016
Twitter Complaints
Tags customer servie, customer support, trolling, social media, popularity, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: We're getting a lot of product complaints on Twitter. Boss: Tell those trolls to shut up and leave us alone. Dilbert: Uh... okay. CEO: Why did our stock just drop to zero? Boss: Sounds like a seasonal thing.
Tuesday November 01,
2016
Alice Gives Approval
Tags deal, support, negotiations
Transcript
Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to get everyone's buy-in on this. Alice: I'll agree to your stupid idea if you support my great idea later. Dilbert: Deal. Alice: Should I read it? Dilbert: I don't see why.
Sunday April 30,
2017
Tags technology, cognition, distraction, Entertainment, mindless, cell phone, internet, social media
Transcript
Dilbert: I wanted to be productive this week but the big tech companies didn't let me. Boss: That's ridiculous. They can't stop people from doing work. Dilbert: Actually, they can. Their business models depend on interrupting users with ads, and apps, and mindless entertainment. Until recently, humans could resist these distractions. But now the tech companies are using science to make their apps addictive. They learned how to hijack our brains. What started as simple entertainment evolved into military-grade mind control. Did you hear any of that? Boss: Any of what?
Tuesday July 11,
2017
Unethical Assumptions
Tags money, ethics, misleading, finances, budget
Transcript
Boss: Your financial projection doesn't support my preferred strategy. Maybe you could tweak the discount rate to 40%. Dilbert: You're asking me to be unethical. Boss: Only with your assumptions.
Tuesday November 14,
2017
Watch That Monitors Health
Tags health, wearable tech, fitbit, fitness, monitor, surveillance
Transcript
Boss: Our new product is a watch that monitors every aspect of your health. Wearing the watch is mandatory for all employees. Your data will automatically stream to our cloud storage. Voice: Because you care about our health? Boss: Sure. We'll go with that.
Wednesday November 15,
2017
Wally's Watch Is A Snitch
Tags wearable tech, health, surveillance, fitbit, monitor, fitness, attendance
Transcript
Wally: I can't come to work today. I'm totally sick. Boss: According to your employee health monitor, you're not sick at all. Wally: Stupid snitch!!!


